I just found out I'm pregnant. SIL miscarried 2 weeks ago

[AutomatedAlice]

Should we hold off telling family for a while? Normally we would have told them straight away, so I would feel weird keeping it from them. But don't want to make a hard time for SIL even worse.

congrats and sorry for your sil.

tricky one. how far pg are you? if really early, maybe wait a while but it will be equally painful whenever you tell her really.

congratulations
i'd tell her first if yoiu can and stress you know it will be diffivult for her. let her know you won't be upset by her reaction

Literally found out half an hour ago. So barely even there pregnant really. I should be working but can't concentrate. Haven't even told DH yet as he's not home til 5!

Thanks Stealth, not sure when I'll see her by herself, but should be possible to arrange.

oh wow
can't believe you told us before dh

are you still shaking?]
when i got mine, i'd just done a "shall i test?" thread, managed to tell dh before coming to update the thread

still shaking a bit . Thing is, mum's downstairs with DD, giving me some time to work, and I def can't tell her before I tell DH, but I'm bursting with it, so it's getting poured out to anonymous internet types. Is that wrong?

I'd wait before telling anyone aside from your dh. Your sil might fall pg again in the meantime.....Just wait until 12 weeks. There can't be any problem with that.

Unfortunately she is unlikely to fall pregnant again, there were having IVF and they're not going to try again . They do have 2 dcs already, but wanted more.

God, I don't know, I'll see what DH wants to do.

they*

Congrats Alice - I would tell your SIL as soon as you start telling anyone else (other than dh obviously!) so there is no danger of her finding out by accident.

Also, IME, it would be better to tell her by phone not in person - that way she can get away easily (by cutting the call short) and scream/shout/wail if she wants to. In person is sooooo awkward cos you don't feel you can run out of the room and cry .

That's just my opinion though.

Totally agree with spongebrain far better to do it over the phone...I made the terrible mistake of announcing my BFP (last June) at a family lunch... SIL dissolved into tears..only just found out now that they are on IVF attempt 3

hold off telling anyone for a bit. give SiL a chance to get beyond hating you.

I had a mc a few months ago and I think that although it would stir up all those feelings of grief, that I'd be thrilled if my sil were to announce that she's pregnant. Wait a few weeks though.

I think I'd be touched if she talked to me alone about it, but then I feel like a bit of a pariah - nobody mentions the M-word. Or the B (baby) word. Or the P word for that matter. Whereas I could talk about all three till the cows come home...

Oh yes - tell her before you tell everyone else (other than your dp that is!).