Social Servies? NSPCC? Keep quiet?

[MrsStig]

I work for an estate agents.

One of the houses we are selling is occupied by a woman who has recently moved to England from Ireland with several children (6 as far as I can tell).

The woman has mental health problems, which have caused her to be verbally abusive at us when we have been to her home(shouting and swearing, leaving one colleague shaken and in tears), and on another occasion being overly friendly with a male colleague. (She doesn't own the house, and I can understand she doesn't want to move, as she is living there rent free, and doesn't want any more upheaval)

Usually 6 children are in the house when ever someone from my office has visited.I believe this is because she has been unable to get them into a school, due to her mental illness. She spends a lot of her time in her bedroom, which we have been told we will never be able to have access to.

I have concerns for these children, and presume, as they have just come from Ireland and the children are not in school will not be know to social services. My colleagues think I should not say anything to social services at all, as if the family find out I have reported them, they will take the house and put it on the market with another agent.

The children are not hungry, or dirty, and are very polite. I just think the mum needs a little bit of help.

WWYD?

Call social services, you can do this annonymously. If we all watched out for children like this then the world would be a far better place for some of them.

What are your actual concerns for the children?

because I can see how her being verbally abusive towards a colleague would be upsetting for that colleague, but it does not necessarily follow that she is in any way abusive or neglectful of the children.

Do you have solid concerns? Without them, you can't really report anything to anyone, as youhave nothing to report. It's not illegal to homeschool your children, even if you have mental health problems.

I'd certainly be contacting the Local Safeguarding Children Board (LSCB). Their number should be on your local council website.

If these kids are not at school then it's unlikely they are on anyone's radar. You can make an anonymous referral.

I think that losing a sale is slightly less important than the well-being of this family - they all need help.

You're quite right coldtits, about the home schooling, but I'm quite sure there is no educating going on here, atm.

I think that's why I haven't picked up the phone yet...I have no solid concerns for the children, but I do think this mother needs help, if she hardly ever leaves her room, and the children are caring for themselves/each other.

To be honest, I don't know what social services could do. No one can force her to take medication, can they.

No, they can offer her support though and can make sure the children find a school.

You might also ask the local Community Mental Health Team for advice. I recently contacted them about a local mum who was having a psychotic episode. They gave her the help she needed, located her mother to help out with the grandchildren, and all are ok again now. It was easier in that case because she was already on their 'books', but in any case I think they're a good starting point.

Yes yes yes call social services and let THEM decide if it is a child in need situation. They can get her some support if necassary and if everything is ok then no harm done. So bloody what if she moves agents.. childrens welfare is way more important. Its your duty.

How do you know the bits you do know? If she has menatal health problems then CMHT will be a good place to contact.

Unless you have evidence then I think it is wrong to contact social services.

What makes you say no education is going on?

Fwiw I think you are probably right to have suspicions, but I don't think it is right to contact social services if you have no evidence of any wrong doing.

I work in Adult mental health and if we had a call from someone describing this situation I would be on the phone to SS immediately.

Hi am new to this site but can I give you some serious advice from someone who IS Irish. The English seem to think that when we Irish get upset and shout and swear that we have something wrong with us and that simply is not the case. I am lone parent and since coming back to england I have had no end of trouble with SS just because i am different.

HOw do you know she is always in her room? have you installed a camera? As for not letting someone in her bedroom. Again that is an irish thing. it goes to privacy and person space. it not something someone does even if the house is for sale and she is letting regardless if it is rent free. but what has got beening there rentfree got to do with anything your just work in an estate agents?

Her not send her children to school i can also understand. I have a healthy happy 2 1/2 year old who I am homeschooling at the moment. One thing in this country is that it is such a mix of people that we in ireland don't have. My son the first time he saw a black person he screamed. I am relutant to use publics schools as some of those children have no manners and like to bully. I have already had the experience of this as my son wears glasses. So I can understand the problem with schools in this country. I not racist but i also don't care for people with no manners and would not want my son exposed to that.

the other thing is why she left ireland on the first place? once that is known then one can guage things a bit better. just don't assume things as you can make a stressful situation worse.

make sure you have your facts right as she may us process of elimination and will find out it was you and like most of us irish will report you for anything or worse sue you for giving false information. which by the way is what i am doing. I won the first case and they appealed the decision so waiting to go back to court.

How do you know she has mental health problems?

How is she managing to keep the children well fed and cleanly clothed if she is in her bedroom all the time? 6 kids means a lot of food shopping and washing. If the kids are polite well fed and well dressed why do you have such huge concerns?

Could it be she just doesn't like having strangers nosing around her house?

Is the house reasonable clean and tidy?

devendra if you had a call like this you would ring social services before contacting the person /meeting them yourself?

you beat me to it Imsonot:

how do you know this woman has mental health problems? do you actually know this for a medical fact or are you making an assumption?

If you are concerned - call the team at the council to discuss this (can be anonymous) and let them make the decision.

i would call ss too,

She is being abusive to other adults infront of the children and therefore is a concern

they arent at school so not on anyones radar

if she doesnt need help, no harm done, so bestter to be careful

But what are you actually reporting her to SS for exactly. You said there is no evidence of child cruelty or neglect. Do you have concrete evidence of her mental health problems? You can't very well report her to SS because she has been rude or flirtatious with a colleague. That would be terribly meddlesome.