Should I move (with the DC) into my parents' house?

[BEAUTlFUL]

DH left in October. I'm currently in our (owned) 3-bedroom house, in Surrey, with 2 young DC. H lives about 5 minutes away in a rented house. We has the DC every other weekends, and on Wednesday nights. We are amicable.

I work from home, DS1 is in Yr2 at Infant School, DS2 goes to a childminder Mondays and Wednesdays, when I work from home.

The house will have to be sold at some stage, and I don't know if I'll be able to get a mortgage as I'm self-employed and my income is low. When the house sells, I get the majority share of the profit.

DS1 will be going to Junior school in September.

My parents have a 5-bed house in Berkshire. They have said that I can move in, with the DC, rent-free (although I would rather pay money) while I get back on my feet and improve my career. I'd have a very large en-suite bedroom, the DC would have a bedroom, bathroom and playroom, plus a big garden and a dog! (It's Mum's dog.)

I get on very well with my parents, and my brother lives in the house next door. I have a few friends there, but more friends here. There is a very good junior school nearby, but my parents' house isn't in the catchment (although this is the nearest school by distance).

I don't know what to do! WWYD? Would you move in with your parents if you were me?

Sorry - I meant to say "He has the kids every other weekend".

My parents will be living in the house too, in case that isn't clear! (God, I wish I'd previewed this first.)

My parents are not the type to suffer in silence, so if there were problems I know we would sort them out openly. I think it'd be lovely for the DC to live amongst a big family, and I'd have fewer chores to do as my parents have a cleaner and Dad cooks every night.

But... It wouldn't be "my" house. I don't have much stuff, but some things would have to go into storage. The DC would be 45 minutes away from their Dad, so would only see him every other weekend, and DS2 would lose his lovely childminder.

At the moment I'm near London, which I love. But my parents' house is where I grew up, so I know the area.

bumpity bump!

bumpity bump!

I wouldn't move. Lots of upheaval already for your dc, so might be better to stay put for the time being.

If you are thinking of moving in soon-ish, would it be a good idea to get your parents to visit very regularly so you all get used to the day-to-day routines, rather than 'visits'.

But dunno really; I'd never move in with my parents !

I know what you mean. But if DS1 starts Junior school here, in Surrey, then I'd rather not move him out until he's finished, which is another four years.

I also don't know if I'll be able to afford to pay the mortgage on my current house if the interest rates start rising again.

If I did a list of pros and cons, I'd say there were probably more pros for moving in with my parents than staying here.

I feel like this house isn't mine, as H will surely want to get his share of the money out of it at some point in the next four years? Also, my parents are 70 - this really might be my last chance to live with them.

I would say, do what feels right for you.

Your boys will settle wherever they are, and it really doesn't seem to upset them too much if they change infant schools. Later on Yr5/6 might be different, but that's a long way away for you.
And I'm sure DS2 if he was able, would rather have a happy, secure mum, than a childminder who may not stay around til he's in school anyway.

Presumably if the boys have a 45min trip to their dad, it's only that for you to see friends.

Does ex know he could lose his Wednesdays?

I would move
it willbe great having your family so close to help out

I think your son losing his cm is not a reason to not move.

What would you do if it didn't work out? How long would you be stuck there before being able to move to your own place?

Just reread thread and your says it all to me. Move. Enjoy them being around. Enjoy watching your children spend so much time with their grand parents. Move.

A question. If you move in, how would you see it working out - I mean, what would the long term plan be? Do you see it as a step to getting back on your feet (& ending up in a place near them?), or would it be more likely that once you were in, you'd end up staying there (probably with a carer role at some stage)
Have you contacted schools near your parents to find out whether there would be any spaces/how over subscribed they tend to be?

When you say 'the house will be sold at some stage' is that because you might not be able to meet the mortgage on your own?'

I think you want to move back in (from how you're 'talking') - if so, you should do it - life's too short - but think everything through first....