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Original poster

Stupid issue, but WWYD?

32 replies

skinsl · 19/01/2010 10:43

If you had organised a surprise birthday party months in advance and someone who hadn't responded to any emails gives you 8 hours notice,saying they are coming, travelling from 250 miles away. Private room in restaurant is booked for a certain no. of people and you are already 2 over that number.
WWYD, how would you feel?
The birthday girl likes this person.

OP posts:
pollywollydoodle · 19/01/2010 10:45

2 over, it's only one more just let the venue know....somebody will prob drop out anyway...

Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 11:07

venue said no.
this has already happened, so more of a what would you have done.

OP posts:
compo · 19/01/2010 11:08

coyldnt you have rung to find out if they were coming?

PurpleEglu · 19/01/2010 11:09

I guess you would need to tell person not to travel the 250 miles since they can't be fitted in.

Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 11:12

good point compo
they were only contacted by email,forwarded on by a friend but they knew all about it for months.
I am trying to gauge whether it is rude to not have replied earlier.
was trying to give basic details so I would seem impartial.

OP posts:
Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 11:12

they were already on the train, purple

OP posts:
belgo · 19/01/2010 11:14

I'd be surprised if the venue noticed three extra people; usually they would be happy with the extra custom.

LouIsOnAHighwayToHell · 19/01/2010 11:16

Too bad. This happened to me on the weekend. Same situation (my birthday though). Told them that they had had 2 months notice, they did not rsvp until the day of the party despite me having emailed them 3 days before. Told them sorry but they cant come.

PurpleEglu · 19/01/2010 11:25

Like Lou said its tough. Get off train turn around and go home

islandofsodor · 19/01/2010 11:27

I'm guessing that it is the size of the room allocated that was the problem and that between the dater of the OP confirming numbers and the actual event the restaurant had others booked into the other spaces.

I would have sent a message back saying very sorry but the restaurant can not accomodate any more at such short notice and left it to them to decided what to do, after all you don't just travel 250 miles without having RSVP'd (well reasonable people don't anyway).

What did happen?

squeaver · 19/01/2010 11:37

Tbh, I think I would have begged the venue. To avoid a scene.

squeaver · 19/01/2010 11:38

But also seethed inwardly at the lack of manners.

Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 11:41

The rest said no, if we wanted that room. If it was more we couldnt have that room, and tables would have to be split up. The person in question came along, saying that if he really couldn't stay he would just have a drink with us. In the end, the restaurant added a single table to the end of the big rectangular table and it was fine. We all scrunched up a bit.

But the fuss that this has caused with the organiser is unbelievable. Rude, disrespectful, etc.
I think it was bad form, but not really the end of the world!!!
Just wondered what others thought.

OP posts:
squeaver · 19/01/2010 11:43

And did the birthday person have a good time? Because that's what matters, surely?

Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 11:45

honestly, NO.
The fuss that this made ruined it.
And will alway ruin the memory of what should have been a fabulous evening

OP posts:
displayuntilbestbefore · 19/01/2010 11:46

The situation could have been avoided by simply chasing up the invitation and asking for a reply given that the venue needed to know numbers in advance.

squeaver · 19/01/2010 12:00

So it was all about the organiser being the centre of attention, not the birthday girl.

StealthPolarBear · 19/01/2010 12:03

but it was cxhased, by email! It doesn't say how many people were there but if you had to chase everyone you'd never be off the phone. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect adults to be able to reply.

Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 12:04

aha!!

OP posts:
Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 12:16

funny you should say that squeaver, cos that's what I think

OP posts:
Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 12:18

Stealth, yes it is reasonable and right and proper to reply. But maybe not a hanging offence

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 19/01/2010 12:20

no, you're right it;s not, but it;s then very silly to make your way there (250 miles) when you haven't replied.
Were you the person on the train?

squeaver · 19/01/2010 12:22

Sheesh. Some people

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 19/01/2010 12:26

I am wondering who was the birthday person, who organised it and who was the non responder travelling 250 miles.

Original poster
skinsl · 19/01/2010 12:29

no, i was the birthday girl!!!
the person on the train was a good friend who has had a bad time recently. He wasn't sent the original email, but they were supposed to be forwarded to him.
Organiser was my stupid DH, who is so p*issed off that his meticulous arrangements were upset, that he now not talking to me.
Same DH actually didn't actually realise that there was nothing on the menu that I liked.

OP posts: