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re. seats and meals for very small children at a wedding?

19 replies

fluffles · 17/01/2010 21:25

ok, so we're having a somewhat 'rustic' diy style wedding in a barn. we are having a caterer and a sit-down meal (served buffet-style) but we are doing everything else ourselves (place settings, centres, etc).

so... at what age would you provide a chair and setting for a child?

we have lots of children coming between a few months old and 3 years and i can't decide where to draw the line for a setting/chair.

babies will have to go in their own car seat / travel system or on a parent's knee as we can't provide high chairs.

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IsItMeOr · 17/01/2010 21:40

Are you letting people know, as they may be able to bring their own highchairs?

I'm no expert, but I think certainly by 2 they will be sitting and eating at table...

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QandA · 17/01/2010 21:42

My best guess would be once they get to about one and a half to 2 ish? I think the best thing would be to mention whatever rule you make to the parents so they can plan for it. Is space an issue? If it is the providing of chairs that is the issue, rather than the space for them I would warn all the parents and give them the option to take their own or a booster seat.

TBH, I wouldn't have enjoyed a meal as much sat with my very heavy 1 year old on my knee (especially in nice wedding clothes and the baby eating too!) throughout the whole thing, but would have happily taken my collapsible high chair along.

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Hulababy · 17/01/2010 21:43

2 and over I would say they would be in a seat. You could check with parents. Some may chose to bring boosters with them. Obviously if they do they will require a chair for these to fit to.

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IwishIwasmoreorganised · 17/01/2010 21:45

2 and over give a seat - let the parents know in case they want to bring a booster type thing to tie on the raise the lo up a bit hight

6 months plus leave a gap and ask their parents to bring their high chair from home.

Any younger than that a knee will do as they shouldn't be eating anyway!

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leavingonajetplane · 17/01/2010 21:50

maybe ask individual parents? some may bring boosters/the seats that attach to tbales etc and probably hard to predict which set of parents will put their child in what type of seating as seems to vary a bit!

your wedding sounds lovely, nice and personal

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theITgirl · 17/01/2010 22:04

If space is not an issue, might be an idea for a chair for everyone including tiny babies.
A car seat can sit on a dining room chair (if in a corner) or once the baby is sitting on one of the normal booster seats that straps onto a chair.

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fluffles · 17/01/2010 22:22

i don't know yet if space is an issue but there are 20 children under 3 on the guest list so i would guess that providing a chair even for the under 6-months babies would make a BIG difference to the number of tables we need.

i'm liking the suggestion of chairs from 2yrs up, space for high chair for 6mths - 2yrs and let the under 6mnths sort themselves out with bouncy chairs or car seats or whatever.

also, while we're on the subject - any idea what is reasonable to say to the caterer re. small children eating the buffet. i am thinking no food for under 6mnths, a half portion for over 3yrs... but i'm not sure about the 6mnths to 3yrs?? maybe a quarter portion?? do hot buffets usually over-cater anyway?

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IsItMeOr · 17/01/2010 22:29

My 10mo could probably manage a quarter portion, more if he's feeling greedy...

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fluffles · 17/01/2010 22:33

maybe go to half-portion at 2yrs then rather than 3 and a quarter-portion from 6mnths.

it's just averages really as it's a served buffet.

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Rockbird · 17/01/2010 22:41

Just let me have a little rant here

DD (just turned 2) was a flower girl at a wedding last weekend. The day started at 11.30am and we were served food at 6.30pm (wedding finished at 2pm). When it came there were little sandwich boxes etc for the small children and bigger children got a meal. I was livid, firstly at the amount of time the children were made to wait and also that DD wasn't given a proper meal - wasn't expecting a whole meal but a plate so that she could share ours would have been good. Instead, they got their sandwiches a bit before and she filled herself up on mini cheddars and other delights so she wasn't interested in dinner. If someone had said that it would be such a long wait I would have packed a picnic for DD or something. She was famished.

Yours sounds fab though and you sound like you're putting a lot of thought in, which is lovely. As you were, I just had to get that out!

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fluffles · 17/01/2010 22:45

oh dear, i guess they thought they were doing the right thing with the sandwiches

i hope we get things right, but at the same time it IS a diy affair in a barn rather than a posh hotel and there are a LOT of young children so high-chairs and some other things are impossible.

we are starting at 2pm and eating around 'tea time' rather than 'dinner time' for the children (and elderly) though.

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IsItMeOr · 17/01/2010 22:46

Rockbird - did I read that right, there was nothing to eat until 6.30pm?

fluffles - your plans sound lovely, and you are trying hard to make everybody welcome.

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fluffles · 17/01/2010 22:47

sorry, does that sound like we've banned high chairs?
obviously we've not, people are welcome to bring their own, we just can't supply them.

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Waswondering · 17/01/2010 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockbird · 17/01/2010 22:50

fluffles, please don't take any notice of my post, I was just ranting about my SIL and you were the first chance I got Makes no difference where it is, it sounds lovely and you sound like you're trying to juggle a million different factors. The effort will be appreciated. Plus you're starting after lunch so children can eat then, unlike our one which started almost after breakfast...

Yep, IsItMeOr, not a sausage till 6.30. The adults were chewing the legs off the furniture as well! Four hours to stand and chat. There isn't a person in the land that I like enough to talk for that long

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fluffles · 17/01/2010 22:56

no probs rockbird, not taking it personally, just worried trying to juggle everyone...

and 4 hours!!! wow! i'd have been hammered before the food arrived

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IsItMeOr · 18/01/2010 07:12

Rockbird! I'm genuinely shocked at that. But I'm guessing it was probably a way of managing costs at a venue?

fluffles, I think as long as you let the parents know what to expect, it will be fine. They will be able to bring any snacks/equipment they think they need, if they know what you will be providing.

Don't worry about it being a DIY affair, it sounds like it will be fab.

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Cloudbase · 28/01/2010 21:13

Agree with Isit - I don't think any parents will mind having to make own arrangements re: highchairs and seating, so long as they are aware in advance - can you add something in with the invites if they haven't already gone out? Also, I would let them know that there will be a buffet meal,and roughly what time so that if they want to supplement it with their own snacks/drinks etc they can. As far as the seating goes, I suspect that rather than stick their young babies on their laps for 2 hours during a meal, They'd rather be able to bring in their pram/pushchair so that the baby can sleep if it wants to, and they can relax and enjoy the food - I don't think the lack of chairs is a problem so long as there is enough space iyswim?
Good luck though - it sounds lovely and I'm sure your friends and family will hugely appreciate how thoughtful you are being about their children - not always the case at weddings!

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CantSleepWontSleep · 28/01/2010 21:29

My ds is 15 months and would sit on a normal chair, although I could bring a high chair for him if I was told in advance that I needed to. No way would he sit on my knee for a whole meal!

He would also heat a half portion no problem if he was hungry.

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