We wanted Christmas dinner at home just the three of us this year, we've fed both families for about 4 years and last year there were 12 people and me & DP running roung knackered like idiots all day. So we decided that we'd like to eat alone this year but invite the family down late afternoon/evening for leftovers and mulled wine and a catch up (there will be about 8 people coming down)
Thing is, my mum can't seem to just attend something without having to organise and take over and she announced yesterday that she's organised some kind of christmas raffle and secret santa that we're going to do at ours and could I get about 6 small pressies wrapped up for the games, with various specifications (like I can just conjure them up). She then also announced that her friend is coming to ours because she would have invited her to her house anyway!
This friend I don't really know and DP doesn't know her at all. I'm annoyed that my mother can't ask first, it's not open house it's bloody christmas day. This friend has a dh and kids so it's not like she's going to be lonely on christmas day, and for us the point of christmas is getting the family together, not most of us in one room and my mother getting pissed with her friend and cackling in the other room. Her friend lives between our house and my parents' (all walking distance) so I'm thinking of asking mum that if she wants to see her friend could she just visit her on the way to ours, and to do all the raffle nonsense at home before they come to ours so we don't have to faff about trying to find a load more pressies at short notice.
I don't want to sound like an uncharitable grump but tbh I'm pissed off with my mother taking over everything (she invited her work friends that I didn't know to my recent 'big' birthday house party that was specifically family and close friends) and any other day of the year our house is open to any visitors and all are welcome but just one day I wanted just family and I'm feeling a bit sick of being the one who's always smiling and saying "no, don't worry, it's fine, I don't mind". Of course this is about more than just the christmas day issue, I'm 30 farking years old and my mother still has to take over and interfere in anything I do (I'm convinced that she has empty nest syndrome as both my younger siblings are now away at uni and I'm the only one near her). I do not want to be pissed off with her on christmas day, but also DP is getting sick of her and it's his christmas day too.
I'm more than happy to accept that I'm being over-sensitive because she's done my head in recently, but I'm just sick of trying to keep everyone else happy.
Also my parents' cat died this week so I'm going to look like a cow and upset her if I do say anything.
WWYD?