A teacher "shoved" DS3

[Hassled]

I know the teacher fairly well, I quite like her. She does, however, have a pretty bad reputation as a shouter and I know that a formal complaint was made about her last year (don't know why). My instinct is that she's basically well meaning but has problems with self control/anger control. She's not DS3's teacher.

Anyway, at a choir practice yesterday she wanted DS3's class to shuffle along their row, but they didn't hear/didn't respond. DS3 was on the end, and she shoved him (to get the group to budge up), sufficiently hard that he fell into the next kid. DS3 is fine - sufficiently bothered by it that he told me, but he didn't seem upset, IYSWIM.

Is this not worth bothering about? Or should I have a quiet word with someone? Am I being a bit precious?

I don't think you'd be precious unless you stormed in straight away and demanded her head on a plate!

If he isn't upset I think I'd leave it. End of term - pre-christmas stress - not that that excuses it but it sort of explains it.

Cor kids these days don't know they're born! Shoved?? I'd have killed to have been merely shoved.
I went to schol in the era of the blackboard rubber throwers, the chalk chuckers, the 'swift crack round the back of the head' brigade, the slipper, cane & ruler and the occasional 'throw the bully over the table to see how he likes it' school of punishment.

Seriously though unless your DS was really upset I'd be tempted to leave it like Orm says

I would have said don't bother. Thing is something similar happened to ds in reception with a teacher with similar issues. She could not control the class and often screamed at ds and once or twice shoved him too. The first time ds said something, I dismissed it as being just something that happens. The next time, a parent heard her screaming at ds and I confronted her, she denied it. I made it clear that if I heard anything of the kind again, I would take it up with the head. Ds never mentioned anything else happening and I don't believe it did. The teacher subsequently left the school.

However, the 6 months or so it took me to understand that there was something going on, had an impact on ds which has been, in many ways quite profound and I wish I had dealt with it earlier and had involved the head.

What I would do in your situation would depend on whether I thought she had a particular issue with my child (this one did) and whether I thought it was a one off or likely to be repeated.

As I think the answer to the second question seems to be yes, "basically well meaning" is not enough and I think I would mention the issue to the head. Not worth making a formal complaint about but a pssing comment along the lines "I just thought it worth mentioning...".

I think you're right. I'll just keep all fingers crossed that DS3 doesn't get her next year. Thanks.

If you didn't know her history would you have thought there was a problem with this?

I don't think it sounds like such a terrible thing that she did tbh.

If your son isn't upset by it, I wouldn't worry about it.

I reported a teacher for same thing years ago when dc told me as it happened more than once. Teacher was dealt with as there were other instances I was told much to my relief as I didn't know before I spoke to head. My concern was we try to teach kids to behave and then they get treated like that - not on.

I would have a quiet word with her.
I dont shove people when I'm stressed and so wouldnt want my Ds to learn this from a teacher.
I wouldnt make a complaint or be arsey though.

I would leave it. He obviously knows it's not on so not likely to emulate that behaviour and it's good that he can deal with less than exemplary behaviour in a mature way.

Sorry I should have started a new thread for my message. What an idiot? Moderators, can you move it or delete so I can repost?

nadia, press the link saying 'report' and ask MNHQ to delete your post.

Thanks, I have done this now. Sorry OP.