Stroppy parents - should I say something?

[howdidthishappenthen]

I'm quite close to my parents and see them every couple of weeks although they're 2 hours away (most of these vists we drive to them as they don't like parking in London). They adore DS1 and he has an open invitation to stay with them if we ever want to go away for a weekend. We've used this offer once previously in the last 2.5 years.

Last weekend we were offered a cottage for free for the weekend, and duly took them up on the standing offer of a DS1 visit. Cottage and parents in opposite directions so arranged to meet them at a midpoint for the dropoff, which duly happened. No specific arrangements made for the collection.

On Sunday morning, got a call inviting us to theirs for a late-pm roast. Spoke to OH, decided this would make us too late home, called back to decline and suggest afternoon tea somewhere midpoint instead. Furiously martyrd response (hands held lightly over the received whilst they exchanged view through gritted teeth on how unreasonable we were) eventually offering to meet us 20 mins from the house at a Macdonalds carpark, giving us an extra driving time of 3 hours.

DH livid - at them for throwing such a hissy fit about meeting up midpoint, and at me for not making a bigger fuss about it.

Met parents in said carpark, they refused to speak to us, inserted small child & assorted bags into back of car - shoved bag of presents literally spitting 'you might as well have take these now seeing as we probably won't see you at Christmas' (for the first time ever we're having a just-us Christmas as I'll be 32wks pg and don't want to travel - but there was an arrangement that they would come to see us for lunch next week). Then they got in their car and drove off.

Next day, friendly calls from both of them pretending nothing had happened, and asking for confirmation of the plans for the lunch at ours next week?! I made a joke, 'I didn't think we were seeing you after that drop off' and got a cold, 'yes, well we were both very angry with you but are prepared to overlook it and say nothing more' in response.

So FINALLY I get to my point. Do I sweep it udner the carpet as they suggest, or do I actually bring the subject up? And if so, HOW fgs?

I wouldn't leave it - it will be the elephant in the room forever more if you do and will prey on your and DH's minds... I would ring them and say 'It's been worrying me that you were so angry - could we talk about it so I can understand what it was that had upset you so much?' Was it that they'd got the roast all sorted out and had assumed you would come do you think? Can't be due to having DS1 to stay surely? Perhaps they are upset that you haven't invited them for Xmas and used this small upset as an excuse to vent?

Well given that they had kindly had your DS for the weekend and driven to meet you to save YOU driving to pick him up I think they were very kind to invite you for a Sunday roast. OK it would mean being late home but so what? I am not surprised that they were annoyed that instead of having a lovely Sunday at home with your DS and then a nice roast lunch with you and your DH and DS, they had to load him into the car and drive for 40mins.

WWID? I would apologise!

I think you were being unreasonable and would also apologise. I think it was highly unreasonable of you to expect a midpoint drop off both sides of the journey.

Your parents wanted to spend time with you all as a family, not just as babysitters.

Agree with those who said you were being unreasonable. Sounds like you were expecting a lot of extra driving from them, they presumably thought you were taking the piss.

Really? But do see them a lot as a family ? we drive to them around once a month and I call them pretty much every day. They ask frequently if there?s anything they can do to help and we rarely take them up on it ? they?ve babysat only twice previously since DS1 was born. If we?d done the full journey both ways at the weekend then it would have been 10 hours driving for us. As it is we did 7.5 hours of the total driving and they did 2.5 hours. I know it?s still nice of them, but 7.5 hours in the car is still an awfully long way at 30 weeks pregnant 

It might be a long way but it was your CHOICE to take advantage of a free weekend. Your CHOICE to do it. It's nothing to do with how much you see them. It is apprecation of the fact that they minded your DS (and grandparents have NO obligation to do so) and you then denied them a lovely family roast lunch and they had to drive to you.

they went OTT, but tou should have gone to them not met half way.

Both in the wrong.

YABU apologise

I don't think you were being unreasonable. I agree that they are within their 'rights' to expect you to come to them to collect ds as they'd done you a favour by having him. I do however think that it wasn't unreasonable to ask them to meet you at a midpoint you can't expect it, but you weren't wrong for asking. Therefore their reaction was way ott.

Fwiw my parents have my dc's regularly overnight, they are a 50 min drive away and more often than not we meet half way.