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Should I 'sack' myself as Godmother to this child?(sorry, long)

7 replies

RainRainGoAway · 12/12/2009 19:04

I don't quite know what to do, could you all advise. Background:

I was pretty friendly with a woman locally as we both had babies at the same time. We also go to the same church although she is pretty devout. But, I am always questioning, veering between believing and being a total athiest (at the moment I don't feel I believe in God, I know that makes me sound fickle). It was a very typical friendship where whilst we were on maternity leave we saw each other alot and got on pretty well.

Even though we only knew each other a few weeks she asked me to be Godmother. I was really surprised as I wouldn't have even considered her to be in that league of friend. I did express reservations but she was really adamant. My DH doesn't really like her much (and he likes most people!) and said I should decline. In the end I accepted but felt uneasy about it as I think it is a very important role.

As soon as we both started working again we saw each other alot less and I realised that the only thing we had in common was the children.
Every time I see her she finds a way of niggling me about something. For a while I looked after her DD alot, but she would rarely even bother to thank me! It was almost as if because I was godmother I was also a free babysitting service.
Lately, I am not even sure I enjoy being in her company. She is, by many of the mums around here, considered to be a bit odd and at times even offensive when she talks about other peoples DCs.
She knows my DD has been struggling at school and hers is streets ahead. But she will spend the hour slagging off the school at how low they pitch the lesson, even though my DD can't even cope with that. It upsets me a bit.
Frankly, if the little girl (who I am fond of but no more so than many of my friends children) wasn't my god daughter, I would actively avoid her as I feel drained by her company. Even the presents I give her dd for birthdays etc get barbed comments even when I try hard to get her nice things.

I am now moving away and feel like giving her the option to have a godmother who will be around more. Also, as I am very shakey in my faith (for the past year) I feel like a hypocrite having the role.

I know I will get criticism for this but would really appreciate advice. Thank you.

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 12/12/2009 19:06

is it the kind of thing you oculd ask your vicar/ priest for advice about do you think?

RainRainGoAway · 12/12/2009 19:09

That is a good idea Mayor. (good name btw!)
The only problem is, I am not good at indepth religious conversations as I don't want to offend anyone. Also this woman is very involved with the church and I don't want to make her come accross badly to the vicar

OP posts:
SleighGirl · 12/12/2009 19:10

As you are moving away I would use it as an opportunity to keep in touch with your God daughter only, send her notes. birthday cards, christmas cards etc.

It's a made up role anyway so I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it. If you end up closer to God again then you can actively seek to prayer for her again - or still do that now even if you don't believe it's doing any good - that would be more of a fulfilment to your promises than anything else?

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MayorNaze · 12/12/2009 19:18

i don't think you really need to bring religion into it. if your vicar is any good then they will be nice and non-judgey anyway

agree with sleighgirl - if you are moving away then just send cards etc at appropriate times maybe and you need never have contact with the mum?

RainRainGoAway · 12/12/2009 19:21

Perhaps that is the best thing Sleigh and Mayor.
I guess I take the role pretty seriously so was a bit worried about just doing the high days and holidays Godparenting. But you are right, I think as I find my relationship with the mum so negative I will use this to distance myself and keep in touch just by card or Amazon presents!

Thanks for the guidance.

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 12/12/2009 19:31

good luck the fact that you are really thinking this through and trying to do the right thing means you must be lovely

RainRainGoAway · 12/12/2009 19:33

I really am Mayor!!
Unless you get me on the subject of Aleesha Dixon.

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