Moving in with family?

[Clairebe]

I'm fairly new to Mumsnet, so be gentle with me!

DP and I are expecting our first child next May. I'm the main earner and have a very stable, safe job. DP's job is also relatively safe, but poorly paid. Our household income is enough for us to manage our bills now without relying on credit, but we have very little left over.

We have debts and no savings. I would love to get married and buy our own house one day, but I can't see this being possible for at least 5 - 10 years on the income we have now.

DP's mum is willing to let us live with her for a year or two after I have the baby, which would be good for all of us financially and practically too as she is extremely willing to look after the baby when we have to work.

There are lots of positives to doing it, but the negatives are obviously that we'll lose our own space.

Am I mad for even considering it? Would it be better to just struggle on for a few years and see what happens, or bite the bullet, move in and pay off debts and build up some savings?

I made this move when my DS1 was 14 wks old - I relocated 300 miles into my parents home to allow us to pay off our debts and to be nearer to my family so we would have more support.

DS and I moved in with my parents, with my DH to stay where he was mon to fri and he visited on weekends, long term plan was to get our own place once his transfer came through.

It didn't work. My parents house was too small for my DF and DH to have their own space after their work and the added stress of a little baby meant weekends were tense.

Now, I have to stress that I strongly believe this is not a no-win situation. I would do the same in a heartbeat. You have to have clear rules for both parties (you and your DH and MIL) and stick to them. As long as you have your own space it can be a very workable situation.

But go into this with your eyes wide open to the disadvantages. Live-in babysitters seldom work as IME they feel the baby's presence even when you're taking care of it so a night off for them is sometimes just as important.

I have so much more that I can say about this but I hope this little snapshot helps