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Original poster

Ds is terrified of the idea of father christmas...WWYD?

13 replies

HidingInTheZoo · 10/12/2009 21:26

Just that, Ds is nearly five and until this year has never believed weird child until this year. he was ok with the concept and we have been playing it that it is a game that is played at christmas because it is nice as he told his 7yo cousin the truth and most of nursery causing a lot of upset.

SO this year he decides it is true. There is father christmas, and he comes into your houes through the chimney.
but this terrifies him and he is scared of santa coming into the house to leave presents. so much so it has sent him into a complete spin and tonight he has been a minor raving psycopath and refused to go to sleep in his own bed just incase father christmas comes early....

what the hell to i do with this? dont really want to spoil the fact that FC is pretend when he believes as that is part of being a kid, but no idea how to talk him out of this irrational fear.

WWYD?

OP posts:

ThePinkOne · 10/12/2009 21:31

Tell him that you can send Santa a letter asking him to bring his present and leave it outside the door? Have you got a garage or shed they could be discovered in? Or if it's that He might come into his room, then that He can leave presents downstairs?

Poor little chap

PandaEis · 10/12/2009 21:35

tricky one

my DD is TERRIFIED of FC and has always been the same! she wont go anywhere near him but doesnt mind the idea of him IYSWIM

i would maybe talk to him about the reindeers not being able to fly until xmas eve so he literally cant come early or something in that vein do you have an open chimney/fire?? if not maybe tell him that FC needs a key to come in but cant get it until nearer xmas as he hasnt rang you to arrange

hope someone comes along with some better ideas for you

Original poster

HidingInTheZoo · 10/12/2009 21:36

I will try that. he is a literalist. takes everything very very literally. SO will have be careful about any words used. Not sure if it is the concept of someone in his space. He doesnt cope with new/strange people in his space. Cant even have his auntie over as he doesnt know her and cant cope with her visiting at the mo. So we do the neutral turf thing.

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Events & celebrations

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2009 21:42

to be honest, if he is treally scared then i would just say it's a story!!!

it might be "part of being a kid" but if it scares you then it's not a very nice part is it? and if he didn't believe it last yeatr then it really doens' tmatter does it?

i find this one hard anyway, i've never told ds1 that father christmas exists, because i find it very difficult to lie to him- not in a smug i never lie to my children kind of wa. he just asks me stuff and i literally can't lie!!! lol

i can remmeber not believing in father christmas when i was about 5/6 because, quite frankly, it just didn't add up.

don't make him scared, just because you think it's a nice thing to believe in. I think it can still be a nice thing, even if you know it's just a story

kalo12 · 10/12/2009 21:45

tell him there's no such thing as father christmas of course.

i never believed in fc and still enjoyed christmas and all festivities.

i find the whole continuing the myth even when the child starts questioning it rather perverse tbh

differentnameforthis · 10/12/2009 22:18

My friend's little sister was happy enough about FC, but terrified at the thought of him coming in the house.

He left the presents in the shed for many years, until she stopped believing in him.

Her parent's still leave them out there for her every other year tho, especially when the grandchildren are likely to be there on Christmas morning!

It has become somewhat of a tradition now!

Original poster

HidingInTheZoo · 10/12/2009 22:33

I have got to the bottom a bit more. The grey haired knowing one grannie had an interesting chat with him. He doesnt believe in FC, he believes it is a man dressed up pretending to be FC and it is this person who comes into the house. He has just clicked with stranger danager... it all makes sense and is easier to deal with now... i think

I also think it is odd making kids believe. actually we have this this were we treat it like a religon. Some people believe, some people dont. Neither is right or worng it is just a difference of opinion. Just like some people dont celelbrate christmas.

And when i was a child and we visited family in a country where they didnt have reindeer we were told FC didnt take the reindeer there because they would have been eaten as it was a treat to be given it to eat. Me and my big sis were ok with this when years later we were served it. Little sis though couldnt face the idea of eating rudolph

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2009 22:37

oh bless him!!! he sounds a lot like my almost 5 year old, it's def the kind of thing that would worry him too!

Original poster

HidingInTheZoo · 11/12/2009 21:06

Sucess! School christmas fair. Asked to see fc. Got iffy with FC when he asked about mince pies so FC was asked to leave the presents in the shed. FC thought good idea. Ds happy.

Thank you wise ones

OP posts:

ThePinkOne · 11/12/2009 22:02

Fab! Well done

Chrysanthemum5 · 16/12/2009 13:01

I know you've got your solution, but just to say you are not alone. DS (5) is fine with FC as long as he doesn't have to see him. Should add we've never bothered with FC, but he picked it up at nursery. He was upset about having to see FC, but still wanted his gifts so we told him that FC was only allowed in the living room and we put tissue paper up over the whole living room door so FC can't come in to the house. Which has the bonus fun of DS and DD being able to run through the tissue paper in the morning to get all their presents!

heading4home · 16/12/2009 13:05

"He doesnt believe in FC, he believes it is a man dressed up pretending to be FC and it is this person who comes into the house."

Exactly the same has happened with my DD. Someone told her FC is just a man dressed up and now she is scared to sleep alone on Christmas Eve

DidSantasMum · 17/12/2009 20:18

Heading. Have never been able to convince him father christmas is real not even very very young (2yo) So we told him he was pretend and last year he could read the signs and figured out it physically wasnt possible for him to be in two places at once. Hence that father christmas is far to buy getting everyone's presents sorted to come speak to the child so he asks some special people to pretend to be him so every child feels like they have had a chance to ask for what they would like. These people have to write a letter/email every night so that the real santa knows what people are wishing for.

Ds was not convinced by this and only the peer pressure of school has made him half believe. The shed thing works. Take her to see FC and get her to ask him to leave the presents somewhere safe outside of the house or to knock on the window and get you to take them in so he doesnt have to come in the house. It helps. promise

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