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if you kept getting let down? (long)

3 replies

ilovetochat · 29/11/2009 22:06

friends, some ive known years and some ive met since having dd (2.4) often arrange to meet up and then cancel/dont show. i find this infuriating as im left at a loose end and its so rude!
My 2 close friends were meant to meet me a few weeks a go and 1 cancelled 45 mins beforehand, 1 cancelled 15 mins after the time so i was left on my own. this isnt the first time, one time i was sat at friends house for 15 mins till she text me saying she wouldnt make it, it happens regularly as something comes up/they are ill and i feel that because im a sahm they think it doesnt matter as im in anyway, but thats not true as im always out and about and could be doing better things than waiting in.
people ive met at playgroups have arranged to meet up and then never turned up and not even text to cancel.
now i had an email of one of my close friends (who cancelled 2 weeks ago) saying sorry she hadnt been in touch, did i want to meet monday and 2nd friend too. i tried to phone and left a message with her husband to ring me back. (friend was talking in the background but still in bed). i heard nothing so emiled her and she emailed back saying she hadnt heard off other friend yet and would let me know where we meeting. its not 10pm and ive heard nothing.
what am i meant to do, wait in tomorrow incase they phone/email/turn up?
but if i go out/make other arrangements and then they phone at 10/11 will i look like a cow for letting them down/like im getting my own back?
tbh i feel like telling them to forget it but i have very few friends and they know me and i can chat to them about anything, but i feel i would miss them far more than they would miss me.
sorry its long. am i being a mug or a grumpy cow?

OP posts:
BrokenArm · 30/11/2009 13:03

Don't consciously ditch old friends, but do focus on other ppl as potential new (hopefully more reliable) friends.

RainRainGoAway · 30/11/2009 13:06

Don't dismiss them entirely. I have been awful with cancelling lately as we have all had colds and recovering. Some days think will be ok but then realise not quite well enough.

Not excusing though. It is bloody rude and I have had it done for me lots. I don't think it is that you are a SAHM though, I work part time and have it alot too.

One friend did say to me 'Rain, in future, if you do need to cancel, please give me a bit of notice as I will otherwise organise something else.' Not rudely, just matter of fact. It impressed me alot as I realised I had let her down a couple of times and felt dreadful. I have made an effort alot more since.

ilovetochat · 30/11/2009 19:32

met friend and she is going through a lot
i am going to be a true friend to her!

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