If you were out to dinner with friends and on the wasy to the loo your 'friend' says

[AtleastbeCYBILtoeachother]

(about another friend (Jan) at the table) 'Blimey Jan has put on LOADS of weight' . This Jan friend had travelled a LONG way to see us all and we were there celebrating her birthday.

Bitchy?.

on the WAY to the loo

i would say fuck off you fat fucker

go for a re-write of Churchill's famous saying ("in the morning, I'll be sobre but you'll still be ugly") "Well, if Jan had gained weight, she can lose it, but you've got that face/personality forever".

I'd think that was a pretty nasty thing to say about your 'friend'.

merely an obsvervation under wine imo

I prefer eyetunes' response but the reality is that I wold pretend I hadn't heard.

I would probably say "Has she? I hadn't noticed"

Because I never do unless someone really has put on stones and stones or lost it otherwise a stone either way I generally don't notice.

We were sober, had just got there. She has history of doing this, making helpful 'comments' about people. Winds me right up, and I dread to think what she says about me.

has jan put on loads of weight?

Seeded I think thats what I did say.

No, 'jan' has always been quite big and will admit it.But she is lovely, and undeserving of criticism imo. I think it was the fact that it was this other girl (bossy, controlling, shallow) that said it. .

She sounds like a bit of a shallow twat. Unfortunately some women see maintaining a size 8 figure on par with gaining a doctorate, sailing round the world single handed, rescuing children from a burning orpahange (I am not fat BTW).

I tend to give shallow twats a miss as they suck the energy out of me.

Doesn't sound like she is a very nice person if she doess this all the time.
I'd keep my distance. Friends are there to make you feel better, not worse!

i am rather warming to her

Hmm, better or worse than calling someone bossy, controlling and shallow?

I said this about someone today (not Jan).
It was true though.

I find "goodness, I wonder what you say about me behind my back" makes the point quite well.

Wotacow! What DID you say or have I missed that?

See, now, this is why I am virtual hermit atm having put on a fair bit since giving up smoking 13 months ago - and I was quite a blimper beforehand - the thought of friends saying "Bibbity's crossed the threshold from chubby to ginormous hasn't she?" on the way to the loo.

So I stay in and MN and eat snacks. Its no good.

More importantly, what were you wearing Cyb?

i LIKE HER
i want to marry her the pal.
cyb you were a cow.

arfarfarf

I would say 'yeah she has a bit eh?' or 'nah she looks the same to me' depending on my observations

I wouldn't think twice tbh

Would depend on the friend and how much I liked Jan tbh! In some situations I would agree. In others I'd be defensive of Jan. Totally depends.

I have one bitchy friend who says stuff like this but I let her off, it's her personality and she makes me laugh and she is actually also very sweet IYSWIM. But if it was someone who I thought was a cow to start with, they'd get short shrift.

Uriel I didn't call her bossy controlling or shallow to any of my mates at dinner, nor would I.

I KNEW someone would pick up on that one

I would gush to Jan when she returned

"Jan, you look fabulous, dunno what's different about you but you look great"

The thing is 'Jan' (what a crap pseudoname to pick) is the sweetest most unaffected funniest nice person who has never cared what she looks like and that's why she's so great.

And (bitchy) mate used to be picked on about her looks by HER Mum and hated it, but they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.