Who should have done the washing up last night?

[Lexilicious]

I am too scared to post this in AIBU and it's an open question anyway, not "AIBU not to have done the washing up". Excuse me if I go detailed on the background here - I want to set the scene properly...!

So, DP and I and DS (8 weeks) live in DP's flat that we were going to rent out because I've been buying a flat near where I work. DP works all over the place so it doesn't matter where he lives. We'd hoped my purchase would be done by the time DS was born but due spectacular vendor fuckwittery it wasn't, and we are still in a stalemate. So having moved three times in the course of the summer we are living in the half-decorated place - by that I mean we have no internal doors, there's no side panels on the bath or a shower screen, we've got piles of storage boxes instead of shelves or proper furniture, etc etc. It's just a bit of a bomb site. The kitchen is the worst bit.

So, by this point post-birth I want to be getting out and about so I've booked a course of ballroom dancing lessons for us both on Monday nights at the adult ed college. DP is fully into this as he doesn't want to look a tit at our wedding in December. We've arranged babysitting by both sets of GPs for alternate weeks. This was week 2 - DP's parents.

Now, they're lovely, in their own way, which is to say I don't really understand them. MIL (to be) is quite dappy but has occasional flashes of the intellect which lies beneath a heavy layer of zero confidence and I am sad to say personality. FIL is desperate to please by being handyman, trouble is he's a bit of a bodger and he is aware of the direct comparison to my dad who is rather good at all things carpentry. They all adore DS (first GC on both sides).

Anyway, I've got a particularly nasty bout of mastitis and am not in a position to go dancing. Spent yesterday afternoon in outpatients seeing a Tit Consultant surgeon. DP also stayed off the class last night. So, ILs first babysitting gig was not to be, but they were here anyway and FIL did a little DIY job while MIL drifted about a bit and played with baby. I was really glad DP delegated the cooking of dinner, although I had to show MIL where everything was, and advise what temp oven for baking potatoes (she uses gas, she said).

Am on some pretty heavy antibiotics for the mastitis and with bf-ing an 8-week-old I'm pretty knackered by about mid afternoon at the best of times. We had a pleasant meal and then some baby cuddles all round, and they had ice cream while I dealt with my injured boob and put DS to bed, and then ILs made a move to go home. About an hour had passed since dinner and I really thought someone had done the washing up. I was wrong.

So, who should have done the washing up?
FIL? who had screwed some gravel boards on the fence and then been served his dinner.
MIL? who had made the dinner but unlike everyone else had not done much earlier in the day.
DP? who had worked at home but been distracted by baby and me, and does most of the entertaining of his parents. He left early for work today, should he have done it this morning?
Me? because I'm the one it bothers the most?!?

It's still not done, by the way.

[Bramshott]

It would have been nice if someone else had done it, but in the final analysis, it's probably not worth a huge battle. If you are feeling up to it, I would just do the washing up. I know how you feel though - I sometimes get myself wound into a state about this sort of thing, and then work out that the best thing is just to do the cleaning up, possibly throw out a few barbed comments, and then get on with life!

[Knakard]

certainly not mil or fil who are guests in your house!

[kitbit]

You could do huffy tidying (slamming doors in the kitchen and sighing heavily to make a point)

But...probably not worth getting het up over, especially as you have a very lovely and harmonious family by the sounds of it!

[Lexilicious]

Yeah I thought so. It's not worth an argument. DP is being brilliant at looking after me but doesn't quite follow through, e.g. he'll cook a nice meal but leave the detritus as he goes whereas I'd put empty packets and peelings in the bins. MIL did the same - I must have a case for wishing she'd put the baked beans tin in the bin while heating them in the microwave?

Knakard I would agree, if they'd been round as guests, but they were here for the purposes of helping out. In the event the original type of help (babysitting) wasn't required, filling in around the house for me would have been much more useful.

Still not done it, btw. I'm going to have to bite the bullet soon aren't I.

[Bramshott]

I think you'll feel better once it's done tbh! Hope the antibiotics are kicking in and you're feeling a bit perkier.

[FairMidden]

Knakard - there's no such thing as a guest when your baby's only 8 weeks old and you have mastitis. There are only helpful visitors and those you don't answer the door to

[Lexilicious]

done it! baby asleep, got cheese and ham sandwiches and a cup of tea. I do feel better. I have decided I'm going to make a little medal/badge to hang by the sink that says "I did the washing up and put it all away, I deserve kisses". I know reward systems are for children but...!

[mumblechum]

Def. wouldn't expect guest to do washing up esp. when one of them had done the cooking.

Can't you and yuor dp settle it by a game of tug of war??

[Lexilicious]

Frankly with the strength I have at the moment I'd lose a tug of war match with the baby.