My mum died recently and we are holding the wake in a particular cafe/bar/restaurant for which she had a fondness, and which has, vaguely and very loosely, some family association.
In her last weeks we were employing a friend to help look after her and this friend made such an enormous difference to her last weeks that we feel a tremendous debt of gratitude towards her. Their relationship blossomed in a very short time, and mum had great laughs with her - worth more than the work our friend actually did in terms of practical care, though she did tons of that too.
Our friend used to work in the bar I've mentioned. They have just texted her to tell her that she owes them quite a large sum as they are accusing her of giving away free drinks and meals while she was working there. She tells me that she always paid for it herself if she gave a good customer a drink, but the text says that people who have been asked say they never saw her do so. In all, she has been accused of stealing a lot of money in kind.
Naturally, she now doesn't want to set foot in the place and is desperately upset. I am not happy to use the place in the light of their behaviour; not least because I know they were always twisting stories about her and using her as a scapegoat (I know this as I found myself the cause of a huge bollocking she got once, where the story she was told and accusations thrown at her had almost nothing to do with reality).
Under 'normal' circumstances I would have no hesitation in holding the wake somewhere else. Unfortunately, dh likes this place and doesn't want to upset the apple cart by our pulling out (we haven't confirmed anything with them yet). He also gigs occasionally there, and doesn't want to risk losing the gig.
WWYD?