Auntie insistent that we stay overnight in our house but don't have anyone to look after our dog, helpful suggestions wanted please!

[GirlsAreLOud]

My Auntie has decided that she wants to throw a small do for my Dad at her house in London for his 60th birthday in December.

She wants my parents and brother to drive 200 miles, and DH and I to drive 40 miles to be there.

All well and good, but, I explained to her that we don't have anyone to look after the dog that weekend (person who would normally have her is away). She has been in kennels before but was so distressed that she ended up somehow swallowing lots of air and being rushed to the vets who was worried her stomach had twisted. I don't really want to put her in the kennels again because of this (can't afford the vets bills either).

I have offered the following suggestions to my Auntie, and she is unhappy with all of them:

• DH, DD and I drive down for the evening then drive back that night

• I go on my own and stay overnight and DH, DD and the dog stay behind.

• We all come in the evening and bring the dog with us and leave her tucked away in her crate for the evening (dog wouldn't mind this, she sleeps all evening anyway)

• We host it at our house and Auntie, Mum Dad and my brother all come to me.

• We have it at Mum and Dad's house (dog is welcome there)

She is not happy. Her only suggestions have been:

• We leave the dog in her garden overnight (it will be December!)

• We 'get rid of that dog'.

I'm pretty hacked off about it tbh, and I know some people will probably just want to post on here to say how stupid it is to have a dog and let it dictated what you do as a family, but she is part of our family and it was our choice to have her and look after her and we're very happy with that choice.

The silly thing is, she expects my Mum, Dad and brother all to come but that would mean there was no one left to look after their dog. I forgot to point that out to her!

Can anyone see any other option around this that I may have missed that she might be happy with?

Get a dog sitter to come to your house in the evening and again the next morning to let her out/feed her.

Oooh, that's a good point ilove, we do have a dog walker who sometimes comes when I'm away for work. I might try him, thanks.

It does sound like she is being very inflexible, and also that you aren't being at all 'difficult' or oversensitive/too demanding about your dog.

Fine that she doesn't want the dog in the house (although the crate option seemed a good one assuming no one has an allergy). But if those are her rules then she should be tolerant of you just showing up for the evening, or without DH.

The option where you stay & your dh & dog go home sounds very reasonable. If she can't accept this then just don't go - she can't dictate to you like this.

Thanks viral, I think I need to speak to my Mum about all this. She phoned the day after Mum and Dad left to go on holiday for 3 weeks and I have a sneaking feeling that she's trying to get me to agree to it all so that she can railroad them all too.

She kept saying "but I want to celebrate your Dad's 60th birthday, he's my oldest living relative". As if me discussing something practical was just an attempt to ruin her fun.

I said we'd go and visit her on Sunday and am dreading it now, as I feel like she's just going to keep pushing it. She didn't like the crate idea because "it will take up the whole living room". It really won't, our dog is only a (very tiny) springer spaniel. She doesn't have allergies either, thought about getting a dog herself (?!) but doesn't fancy all the walking.

Thanks mybox, I'm feeling a bit annoyed about it all, but I don't want to be ruining anything for anyone.

She's just set in her ways I think, funny thing is if she doesn't fancy making the effort for a family thing she won't. I invited her to DDs 1st birthday party (not the same I know) and she said she'd see if she could come then basically just never got back to me (I had assumed she woldn't be coming).

Could you just do what you think best & she'll just have to accept it. If you tell her on the day what you plan is.

Yeah I guess I need to be firm with her. I think I need to speak to my Mum anyway before I commit to anything and she's not back for a fortnight.

Assuming you will have your own room there as your expected to stay, why cant the dog go in the crate in your room? It wouldnt be in anyones way there. Poor thing cant stay in the garden all night in December!
Otherwise as ilove said above get a neighbour/friend to call in to take dog out & feed while you are away. I often do this for a friend who lives few doors down, and she returns the favour for us