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Original poster

Should I sell my engagement ring because we are skint?

42 replies

MrsFawlty · 07/09/2009 09:45

I'm happily married to Mr Fawlty, we've been together for 6 years and have a fantastic relationship.

I was engaged nearly 13 years ago when I was at uni. We never got married but he was my first love and we are still friends and loosely in touch (I've seen him may be once in 8 years and we have very occasional Facebook contact).

Anyway, I still have my engagement ring from my ex. I've kept it as I didn't really know what else to do with it, and it is a really nice antique art deco style ring, but it's not worth very much I don't think, I can't imagine it going for more than about £50.

But we are absolutely skint, and I know DH doesn't like the fact that I still have it, but there is something holding me back from getting rid of it. It's not that I'm still harbouring feelings, because I'm not, but it's from a part of my life and it's part of who I am and it feels sad to get rid of it.

But as I say, we are skint, DH doesn't like it, and I'm just having a chat with myself about what I should do and why I feel unwilling to let it go. (I am a massive hoarder, but also a historian, and I have romantic notions of grandchildren finding all my old things in a box in an attic and learning a bit about their old grandmother's life. I know I would have loved to find a box like that that was my grandmother's. )

Anyway, am rambling now, just wondering, WWYD?

OP posts:
Hassled · 07/09/2009 09:51

It depends how badly you need the £50. But in your shoes, given that Mr Fawlty has issues, I would sell it.

noddyholder · 07/09/2009 09:52

Yes

claricebeansmum · 07/09/2009 09:53

I would sell it too. You need the money and it's not a significant ring in that it is a family heirloom etc. I used to hoard and hoard and then one day just got rid of loads of stuff that I had moved from house to house, relationship to relationship and suddenly I felt so much "lighter".

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Clothing
Lizzylou · 07/09/2009 09:53

Sell it

gemmummy · 07/09/2009 09:53

yep I'd flog it for sure. I'd flog my engagement ring from my DH if I needed the money that badly, tis only jewellery.

expatinscotland · 07/09/2009 09:53

You might get more if you do Gold2Pounds.

itsmeolord · 07/09/2009 09:54

I would keep it. It's a part of your history, why should you have to erase that?
You are happily married, your husband has no reason to be insecure.

There are other much better ways of making or saving cash than selling possesions that are a part of your history.

PortAndLemon · 07/09/2009 09:55

Sell it.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/09/2009 09:59

Difficult one....

I sold my first ever engagement ring when I was skint (for £70 on ebay), it didn't fit and I had no sentimental attachment to it.

However I very nearly sold my diamond earrings and necklace from my first marriage (had been made from my ring) when I was very skint and I'm glad I didn't. I no longer need the money a couple of years later and though I'm not sentimentally attached to the ex I really like them (though I don't wear them much) and I want to pass on to someone in old age.

Do you wear it as a cocktail ring?

and hoarding jewellery doesn't take up much room

BitOfFun · 07/09/2009 10:00

I would keep it too.

Original poster
MrsFawlty · 07/09/2009 10:00

Wow, so that's one vote to keep and loads to sell.

I'm really wrestling with this decision.(But will check out that Gold2Pounds in case that sways my decision!)

I guess I was just worried it seems a bit heartless, but I am probably too sentimental by halves, and the house is bursting with crap from the old days one way or another.

OP posts:
HarlotOTara · 07/09/2009 10:02

When I got divorced when young I sold my engagement ring and wedding ring as I was very hard up. Felt a few pangs but nothing lasting it was needs must at the time and I was never going to wear them again. I can understand you wanting to keep it tho'. I suppose it depends on what it is worth emotionally. I would never sell my grandmother's engagement ring as it is a special momento of her and I wear it every day.

nickytwotimes · 07/09/2009 10:02

Sell it.

Personally, I'd have chucked it long ago, but I don't really hang on to stuff tbh.

Owls · 07/09/2009 10:02

Sell it.

expatinscotland · 07/09/2009 10:04

Why hang onto it?

Money's better than sentimentality.

Original poster
MrsFawlty · 07/09/2009 10:09

Ooops, x posts with more keep its...

I don't wear it, because when I first met DH, he wore a necklace that his previous girlfriend had given him, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Initially I used to undo it when we got into bed hoping he would take the hint, but he always put it back on. So I asked him outright, and he said he liked it and wanted to wear it. So I said fine, and started to wear my engagement ring, just to see if he minded that. And surprise surprise, he went nuts and sold his necklace instantly.

So I have never worn it since, and to be honest, we never think about it unless we happen to be rummaging about in the loft and it turns up.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 07/09/2009 10:10

if it's in the loft and not your jewellery box then I would sell it.

Maybe sell it on here? you might get more for it.

Description please

Owls · 07/09/2009 10:12

"So I have never worn it since, and to be honest, we never think about it unless we happen to be rummaging about in the loft and it turns up."

Even more of a reason to sell it. It's not like you're terribly attached to it on a day to day basis.

Mind you I'm not a hoarder so maybe not the most sympathetic about these things. You need the money so sell it in my view.

Disenchanted3 · 07/09/2009 10:13

Its sounds lovely,

Im torn,

hmmmm.

Would £50 make a significant difference to your incomings? What would you use it for?

wannaBe · 07/09/2009 10:14

if you are a hoarder do you have an attic full of crap you could sell?

Perhaps you could have a carboot sale and sell all the other junk you have hoarded over the years, and you might make some money from that before needing to sell the ring.

Original poster
MrsFawlty · 07/09/2009 10:40

Does it alter the picture if I tell you I was engaged again a few years later, to a total tosser whose ring I had no qualms about selling? (I was travelling at the time and needed cash to get home.)

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsFawlty · 07/09/2009 10:41

Laurie - I'll post a pic of it.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 07/09/2009 11:48

Flog it!

Think of the money.

teech · 12/09/2009 03:55

I'll bid £30...

WebDude · 12/09/2009 04:54

Certainly it makes a difference, insofar as you kept this particular ring, but you've explained the history and how his necklace was sold - him wearing that niggled you, so can understand you keeping this niggles him.

However, as someone else said, how about flogging other stuff first - you still have this to sell if the rest doesn't bring in much.

It is probably better sold, in all honesty, so it's no longer something he can be annoyed about. Since the time he sold that necklace, he's probably been wondering when you will sell this ring to prove your love for him is stonger, as he did for you.

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