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Original poster

Take dd out with us or leave her home alone?

24 replies

mosschops30 · 04/09/2009 16:06

we are supposed to be going out for a meal tonight with friends, there will be 5 adults.

dd (13) was supposed to be going to stay at in laws but now cant so I either take her with us or she stays home.
She is used to being home in the morning on her own if me and dh working, ditto afternoon, and also stays alone during holidays for a few days, she is resposnible and I have started allowing her to use the hob for simple things when we're out.

So WWYD?

(restaurant is 5 minutes drive from home and I will be sober as 30 wks pg)

OP posts:
Pinkjenny · 04/09/2009 16:13

Can a friend come and stay with her so she isn't on her own? Am assuming you won't be late and she will be able to contact you (good mobile reception in restaurant etc). I was allowed to stay home alone at this age, but probably not until very late at night.

Although my dd is only 2yo! Ask me again in 11 year time!

Pinkjenny · 04/09/2009 16:13

That doesn't read correctly, sorry. I meant my parents would be home at a reasonable hour!

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/09/2009 16:15

Do you mean one of my friends or hers?
One of mine - she would rather die than sit at home with one of my friends
One of hers - bit late notice and then I end up with two children being my responsibilty whilst Im out so not great.

Yes mobile reception is fine, and we will be out for 2 hours, early evening meal too, not late, I cant wait to eat that long

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Families
magnolia74 · 04/09/2009 16:17

I would leave her no problem if it was mine

Pinkjenny · 04/09/2009 16:17

iswym - Maybe things weren't quite as stringent 32 years ago! I didn't mean one of your friends, god can you imagine!

I would be inclined to go, early evening, if she is responsible and can get hold of you if she needs to.

Is she happy to stay at home on her own? Is she likely to become spooked?

OrmIrian · 04/09/2009 16:18

If she is happy with that and you trust her to be sensible, then I would have no problem with that.

MayorNaze · 04/09/2009 16:18

leave her. she will be fine )

shakirashakira · 04/09/2009 16:20

My Mum and Dad used to leave me at that age in the evenings and I would scare myself stupid thinking there was someone in the house.

Hopefully your DD is a bit more sensible than I was

LadyStealthPolarBear · 04/09/2009 16:22

I'd do it if you trust her to be sensible, not answer the door etc.
Think my parents would leave me for a couple of hours in an evening from about 11 or 12 and in general they were overprotective (still are!).
What are your neighbours like? Does your DD know she can get to someone in an emergency if necessary?

ra29needsabettername · 04/09/2009 16:24

I would ask her and let her choose.

PuppyMonkey · 04/09/2009 16:25

I have just started leaving my 12 year old dd at home for a bit... she has had a couple of whole days being on her own in the hols. I would risk it for tonight if I were you, especially as you ar so close by and not going to be drinking etc. Just have mobiles charged, tell her not to answer door etc etc. I would avoid hob related dangers though - maybe sandwiches for tea?

She'll probably be on MSN all night and not move an inch if she's anything like my DD..

bellavita · 04/09/2009 16:26

At 13 I would leave her.

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 04/09/2009 16:28

at 13, definitely fine on her own at home!

(assuming you don't live in the bronx and she is happy enough to stay on her own!)

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/09/2009 16:28

if I gave her the choice she would come with us but only because a) she can listen in on the adult conversation but pretend shes not then use it at a later date and b) she loves the restaurant we are going to.

The people we are going with live across the road and their parents are staying in to look after their dd (3) so she can easily get hold of someone, also in laws are 5 minutes drive away and we will be even closer.
She wont be spooked, she will spend the entire time drinking my coke and playing on computer/watching crap tv

OP posts:
ra29needsabettername · 04/09/2009 16:31

As long as she's ok with it then I think its fine. I left 12yr old ds the other night for a couple of hours for the first time.

stealthsquiggle · 04/09/2009 16:31

Definitely leave her - with a few treats and lots of threats as to what will happen if she misbehaves - and 'phone numbers for people over the road, ILs and restaurant just in case.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/09/2009 16:33

Would you feel a little bit bad leaving to go to her fave restaurant though?? (maybe I can bring a doggie bag home?

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 04/09/2009 16:34

At 13 I babysat my niece (from age 6 months onwards)every friday night for a few hours, I find it strange that people think a 13 yo would still need a babysitter.

bellavita · 04/09/2009 16:36

Nah, she will get over it!

Pinkjenny · 04/09/2009 16:37

Nah, you're pg, go for a nice meal, have some adult conversation, and maybe buy her some of her own Coke as a special treat

gorionine · 04/09/2009 16:37

At 13 was babysitting 3 little neighbours when their parents were going out for the night! OMG what were those parents thinking of!

I would let her stay home with a strict "no opening the door to anyone!" rule.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/09/2009 16:37

bellavita you heartless wench

OP posts:
bellavita · 04/09/2009 16:39

that's me!

Original poster
mosschops30 · 05/09/2009 16:39

thanks all, we had a lovely evening, dd was fine and she enjoyed her curry today for lunch

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