to feel intimidated by neighbours.

[carelesswhispers]

hi , i suppose i am just looking for advice here please , we recently had a big row with our neighbour over them bullying our ds , they watch us coming & going from our house , the wife actually sits on her windowsill glaring at us , they have crashed their car into mine four times in the last two years , not causing much damage but just to be annoying , the list is endless really & i don't want to bore anybody
any ideas of how to deal with people like these would be very much appreciated ,

[WibblingDad]

That all sounds very stressfull. I hope you find a solution.

If a neighbour has willfully caused damage to your property that sounds like a matter for the police.

CAB have a page on neighbour disputes:
www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/housing/neighbour_disputes.htm

[Katisha]

What have they been saying to your DS?
Any idea how this has all come about?
Or are they just mad?

[carelesswhispers]

hi , thanks for the replies , wibblingdad - yes it is very stressful , i love our house but i feel like moving just to get away from these people , i have had to call the police the last time the wife hit into my car as she grinned at me while doing it , then launched into attack when we asked her why she did it thanks for that link i will check it out ,
katisha - the wife encourages her son to call my ds a RETARD , i seriously think they have a screw loose ,
she is very childish yet older than me & took all of my sons friends away from him by buying them all ice cream & letting them into her house to play & leaving my ds outside alone & crying , she would then open up every window so ds could hear them all playing happily inside ,
i know it all sounds very petty but it is really getting to me

[GypsyMoth]

there as got to be more to this....i'm thinking jealousy over something!

[Katisha]

Can you not pinpoint when it all started?

I would definitely go to Citizen's Advice.

[carelesswhispers]

ilovetiffany - we used to speak to each other over the wall etc , until we said we were going to get a playroom built for our dc's , then her dh was let go from his job & all of a sudden she started to blank us , give us dirty looks etc , she would always make little remarks whenever we bought anything for the house , but surly that is no reason to turn on someone ,

[Katisha]

Did they object to your extension then?

[GypsyMoth]

not much of a reason,no,but a possibility.

when i moved here,my dd was a bit of a blabbermouth,telling everyone we had escaped her dad as domestic violence was involved. i built a nice life for us all,eventually getting the house sorted so i could then get my car. woman opposite tried to cause allsorts of trouble,and i couldn't understand why. turned out her husband was beating her black and blue,and she was JEALOUS of me!!!

no need,ridiculous jealousy. do you think that incident is whats caused this?

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

I think the best thing to do would be to keep a detailed log of each incident, date and time and report all things that you can - banging your car, yelling abuse, etc, they are things that you can ask the police to record.

Over time, you will build up a good record to take to - landlord if they are renting, or to a solicitor or something and push for action.

Although that doesn't help you in the short term.

Calling the police for every incident may make them give up, perhaps?

[GypsyMoth]

what was said during the row about ds?

[carelesswhispers]

no objection to the playroom as they have a much bigger extension on their house , also we made sure the noisy work didn't start until 9.30am and always stopped at 7pm as we have young children ourselves .
ilovetiffany - no i doubt there is any form of abuse going on , she seems to be the 1 that wears the trousers in that relationship , she comes across as a woman who always gets what she wants .
but she knows how to make someone feel uncomfortable iykwim , she has only lived here for a few years & she stands on the corner talking to other neighbours & now neighbours that we used to say hello to are blanking us too , i am asah mum so it is really getting me down as i don't know why she is doing all of this .

[carelesswhispers]

we have had to put about 40,000 into renovating our house as it was in bits when we bought it but if we sell now then we wont make our money back , but i hate living here because of them . dh loves this house & we have just finished doing it up . do you think we should move or just ignore them .
i do have some lovely neighbours , besides them .

[Katisha]

Well I don't think you should just let her do it - talk to the other neighbours and find out what she is saying about you. Don't just let yourself drift away into being the person no-one speaks to.

Go to Citizen's Advice and get info on your rights and what legal recourse you may have. You may also be able to find out about mediation where , if you can get her to agree, you go and sort it all out with a mediator present.

[hambler]

could you possibly approach her calmly, and ask her if she has some kind of a problem as you are keen to do what you can to resolve it . She does sound like a nutter but perhaps if you are really kind to her it will sort of disarm her?

[carelesswhispers]

katisha , i am not very good at confrontation to be honest , i wouldn't ask the other neighbour why all of a sudden after talking to x she wont say hello to me anymore , that is up to her , would citizens advice be able to help ?
hambler - i have been extremely nice to her for the last four years , but each time we think we have calmed things down with them they do something else to try annoy us , eg take over our parking space outside our house , bang into the car , he throws coconuts at our old dog & half full cans of beer, during the night ,
their ds asked my ds to reach over a 4ft wall to get his ball for him & while my ds did this their ds charged at him , ds fell & broke his arm in 3 places , two weeks before his holy communion . ds had to stay in hospital for an operation but x just took her ds inside , pulled down all her blinds & hid away for 3 days rather than see if ds was ok.
at least now they leave ds alone but even though we have not spoken to them in the last 6 months they wont back off.

[hambler]

oh dear that does sound as if they are completely unreasonable. Are they on drugs?

DO any of your other neighbours have a problem with them?

[carelesswhispers]

hi rambler , they are very unreasonable people , they have no sense of common courtesy . i have noticed their neighbour on the other side of them seems to be fed up with them taking over their car parking space too , i know of 1 other neighbour who no longer has any time for x as she has caught her out of several lies etc ,
no i doubt if drugs are involved , they just seem to be very spiteful people .
thanks for all your replies , i guess we will just have to live with this situation until we can afford to move ,