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should we or shouldn't we???

21 replies

FAQtothefuture · 28/07/2009 23:32

ok - money is generaly tight - paying off lots and lots of debt.

However, things are going to become a little easier soon with the tax credits finally having made their decision on how much we can get.

FIL is over from Zimbabwe visiting. We may have the opportunity to hire a friends car for the week and take him up to Edinburgh (where my brother is) and stop off in Yorkshire (my parents) for a bit as well next week.

It is doable - just - but it's going to leave us quite tight for the rest of August.

DH had a rather, ermm, heated discussion about it this evening and I said initially it wouldn' be possible next week, only really doable after the tax credits come in mid month (by which point FIL will be staying with SIL2, before heading back down to oldest SIL (who paid for him to come over and helped sort his passport and visa etc).

I have now done the maths and we could just squeeze it in.

This could quite possibly be the only trip he ever makes over here.

Should I say yes we can do it (depending on price this friend gives us for borrowing his car - hiring from hire firm is out of the question as we need a 7 seater for all us whic is a lot more £££'s than a 5 seater). ie should we throw caution to the wind for the opportunity to take him up to Scotland and visit more of my family.

Or should I say no - we'll just aim for a day trip up to see my parents in Yorkshire??

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CarGirl · 28/07/2009 23:34

Do you feel like you could ask him for a small contribution towards doing the longer trip?

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GypsyMoth · 28/07/2009 23:35

how much have you allowed for petrol and insurance?

i'd say no. just because if only one small thng goes wrong or you have an unexpected expense,then you're going to be really stuck.

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FAQtothefuture · 28/07/2009 23:38

oh - forgot to say - almost all money that we can allocate to it are for petrol, insurance etc - as we'd be staying with my brother in Edinburgh.

I do also have approx £150 "available" on CC's for dire emergencies - although we've trying not to touch that at all as we're trying to reduce the debt not increase it.

I don't think he'd be able to contribute - he's bought a little spending money for himself, but all other costs have been met either by SIL, or food etc with which ever of his chidlren he's staying with. Money is tight in Zim for anyone.

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FAQtothefuture · 28/07/2009 23:39

and I am getting the tax credits and child benefit into my after we return (which is why I said initially said no to next week - as the bulk of the money isn't there yet).

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kormachameleon · 28/07/2009 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarGirl · 28/07/2009 23:43

I think I would because you may never actually get to spend time with him again etc?

Would he like to spend time with your brother & parents or is it just to visit the places? I'm thinking he's here to spend time with his family more than sightseeing?

Also thinking it's a blinkin long journey for less than a week. I'm seriously wound up thinking about the 275 miles each way to north yorks for our week long hols, the thought of then going on to Edinburgh.....nearly as far again!

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/07/2009 23:43

FAQ I would go for it. It sounds like a lovely few days.

Korma is right - life is too short.

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hmc · 28/07/2009 23:44

With sensible head on - if it leaves you that cash strapped, perhaps better not do it....

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FAQtothefuture · 28/07/2009 23:44

a large part of me is saying FGS woman this is a once in a life time trip for your FIL (and in some ways for us - he's only met DS1 and 2 once before, and this is the first time he's met DS3) throw caution to the wind, live on baked beans on toast for the rest of August if you have to - just do it.

the other side is being the ultra cautious "what if" person, and what about the frugal living you're supposed to be doing at the moment to get those wretched debts down and eventually gone.

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Metatron · 28/07/2009 23:47

Is the car ins fully comp? If not I wouldn't.

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FAQtothefuture · 28/07/2009 23:48

yes he'd like to see them (they're the only family of mine he's ever met as they're the only ones that made it out to the wedding) - but he's also interested in sightseeing - he's said he wants to be able to go back and tell the rest of the family and his friends all about the places he's visited.

He's here for 6 months in total - so time for both.

Not worried about the distance - he's quite used to travelling, and we're not phased by it either (I did Edinburgh for a week last January.......by coach on my own with the DS's - DS3 was only 8 months at the time ).

Ohhhh sensible head or caution to the wind head???

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filchthemildmanneredjanitor · 28/07/2009 23:50

why is your friend charging you to borrow his car? surely if he is a pal it should free?

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CarGirl · 28/07/2009 23:50

isn't it against insurance to hire out your own car to others btw?

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FAQtothefuture · 28/07/2009 23:55

it's a friend of SIL's DH.

So not "strictly" a friend of ours but was less complicated than trying to explain

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expatinscotland · 28/07/2009 23:57

I'd come to Scotland and all squeeze in. But this is from a person who regularly squeezes in hte middle seat of a 1997 Vauxhall Astra if all 5 of us are aboard and regularly rode in the bed of pickup trucks, in the back of white vans, whatever was less work than walking or a bus and would happily camp out in someone's council flat in sleeping bags and Karrimats and give the tenant money for the leccy meter.

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FAQtothefuture · 29/07/2009 00:06

lol expat - as soon as I saw that you'd posted I knew you'd be for it.

He's no adverse to sleeping anywhere, travelling anyhow (neither are we as it happens)

In fact when I said to DH (in mild panic) where is he going to sleep when he's here.

DH replied "oh he'll sleep anywhere, a sleeping bag and space on the floor he'll be more than happy with".

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FAQtothefuture · 29/07/2009 00:06

and actually now you mention my brother does live in a council flat (Moredunvale!) with a leccy meter

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LyraSilvertongue · 29/07/2009 00:07

Throw caution to the wind. As others have said, life's too short.

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expatinscotland · 29/07/2009 00:18

Get your sleeping bags and Karrimats in the boot then! There is running water there and it's hot, too, if you want it to be! And a proper cooker.

Hardly the depths of privation!

Up you get!

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GypsyMoth · 29/07/2009 00:19

i have a seven seater also.....consumes a fair amount of petrol. will you have breakdown cover?

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FAQtothefuture · 29/07/2009 00:20

yes we know how much the guzzle - we've budgetted £150-200 for fuel.

Breakdown cover as well yes.

All of the "bits" have been considered, it's just whether we should spend the money or not

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