is this an olive branch or am i being gullible?

[ilovetochat]

I have known a lady at mother and baby class for 18 months, seen her once a week and our dds are close in age and play nicely.

6 months ago i invited them round and the kids got on well and she never invited me back and was busy the next time i offered so i backed off thinking she was busy.

if we bump into each other at the park we chat and the kids play fine.

3 months ago i text her to see if she wanted to go a park the other side of town, i would have picked them up as she doesnt drive, she never replied so i walked with dd to a nearby park instead. then i saw her and her dd walking up, she said she'd had no credit but thought she would walk up to this park incase i was there? but she thought i was going to the other park so i think she was avoiding me and was embarassed to bump into me?

she said she'd like to go out for the day with the kids so i offered to pick her up the next day for a dayout, she said yes but somewhere cheap as she is skint, so we went to a castle with a park and i paid parking and had a cheap day out. 2 days later i saw her in a softplay having lunch out with a couple of friends (which isnt that cheap)

anyway last month her dd stopped playgroup but she said she'd like to meet up and i said we could meet up that friday if she wanted, she said yes, so i text her thursday night to say weather was crap so to come round mine at 10. no reply but assumed no credit. i waited in, she never came and never texted. i presumed something might have happened but never heard from her and heard through friends she was fine.

2 weeks ago i was on holiday, had a text from her saying she had heard dd was poorly (she'd had chicken pox) and she finally had credit and how was I etc? no mention of not turning up last time or lack of contact. i ignored the text.

I now learn she has been forced to move house because of neighbours and is living 6 miles away in an area where she knows no-one.

I feel sorry she has had to move but think she is only texting now as she is lonely and i have a car.

should i text? offer to meet up and risk her not turning up? or ignore her as i think she is using me when she has no better offers.

WWYD? sorry its so long!

well despite feeling rough with a viral infection i took dd to the session and the girl didnt turn up or text but dd had a great time and another of dds friends happened to be there and played together and i also bumped into 5 ladies from an old baby group so i enjoyed it too!
I am going to stop worrying/analyzing and enjoy my time with dd (inbetween her tantrums ) and if i dont make any friends then at least i can have fun with dd.

just wanted to add that people do what they want to do - ie if she wanted to be friends with you, she'd make the effort.

You've given her the opportunity & she hasn't really bothered, so I would just be friendly with her when you bump into her, but don't make any arrangements or suggest meeting up.

Glad you had a good time at the toddler group - plently of other mums to be friends with

i agree feelingforty, i didnt want to ask her to meet up specifically, thats why i told her somewhere i was going to anyway and she could have come if she wanted, obviously she didnt want to this week and may never want to thats her choice.
I will be friendly if i ever bump into her but wont try and make arrangements with her as she obviously isnt interested.
at least i knew some people there and dd had fun.
I thought being a SAHM i would make friends with other SAHM or part-time workers and meet at each other's houses,go out etc but it hasnt happened, never mind!

You will meet people though & you'll meet people that are nice & deserving of you . You could try your local NCT see if they have anything going on. You could also ask to help out at their sales & then you'll see the same mums each time.

I expect you'll soon make friends with people at the toddler group. It does take time though, so do stick with it.

thanks ,will have a look under NCT after. dd just turned 2 and moved on from all her baby groups so its like starting again, suppose when she starts nursery/school it'l start over again then too.