bit odd, but something that bothers me quite often, WWYD?

[alicecrail]

I don't know if this is quite common, but i often find myself getting a bit worked up over silly things. One of these things is how i've treated people in the past.

There is one person in particular that was very good to me when i was 19. I started working part time for her, but she increased my hours and even provided accomodation for me simply because, in her own words, she felt responsible for me. She was very kind and fair (although a bit scatty) and i know that i added to her stress levels quite a bit. I was young and thought i knew it all.

I left that job a week after i turned 20, and saw her once after that, and wrote to her about 6 months later to let her know how i was getting on and to ask after her family etc. I got a short note back.

It has played on my mind ever since, more so since having DD. She treated me like a daughter and i basically just threw it back in her face the whole time. I have written her several letters apologising but have never been brave enough to send them.

Should i just forget the whole thing, or should i send her a letter? WWYD? If you were her, would you want to know?

Any suggestions greatly recieved

Send her a letter, i bet she'd really appreciate it

I think that it might be nice to send her a letter thanking her, and explaining that you know you didnt appreciate the help properly at the time, but that now you are a bit older you are very grateful.

She probably knows that part of the way you behaved was youth rather than your personality.

Send her a letter but don't be too down on yourself, let her know that you finally realise what she did and you now recognise that you could/should have behaved better, appologise and move on. I bet she would far rather read a brief, well thought out, appology and then some good stuff about you and your family, your life and loves since she last saw you than a whole load of self-indulgant wailing about how terrible you were! Don't forget to ask about her and her life too!

I think that this is probably a relatively common thing to have regrets about. I certainly took people's kind behaviour for granted and now wish I had written/thanked/kept in touch. If it still really bugs you you should definately write a nice letter as big stripy says.

So, basically, just a hello, how are you all etc, would like to apologise for my behaviour when i knew you were trying to help and i appreciate it more now i have DD. I now live in .... with my DH and DD, still have horses etc....

Would that sound about right?

Yes, I think that would sound lovely. Don't side line the appology but dont go over board either, it is very easy to slip into an apology being more about you than about them IYSWIM.

Sounds great, I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Agree that you don't have to go OTT, just apologise for not thanking her properly at the time and make it a nice, chatty, how are you now? letter.

Thanks all