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Original poster

Join forces with a relative to buy a new place - WWYD ?

12 replies

idunno · 29/06/2009 10:15

A relative of my partner has offered to flog her place and join forces with us to enable us to buy a bigger property, with an annexe for her. We have spent time discussing and it seems like a great idea (help with kids on tap etc) but...she is already getting on my nerves !

She has had a difficult life for all sorts of reasons, has had mental health issues and is fundamentally lonely and wants to be near to family. She is also v loud, v opinionated, smokes and has already rubbed me and partner up the wrong way (recently spent a couple of days here so we were under each other's feet a bit). I am not sure I can live with her.

WWYD ?

OP posts:
spicemonster · 29/06/2009 10:17

I think the answer is pretty obvious isn't it? If she rubs you up the wrong way, there is no way you should enter into a property purchase with her. It will end in huge, wracking sobs all round

bigstripeytiger · 29/06/2009 10:19

If you already are annoyed by her then there is no point buying aproperty with her.

crokky · 29/06/2009 10:20

Do not do it. No way. Better to live in a small place and have privacy.

TrillianAstrahasaJOB · 29/06/2009 10:21

Nooooooooooooooo!

TheArmadillo · 29/06/2009 10:21

Don't do it.

If she is already getting on your nerves and rubbing you up the wrong way I wouldn't.

Living with others is difficult when you do get on with them well.

It would be a BIG mistake.

Original poster
idunno · 29/06/2009 10:22

She would have a self contained annexe though...

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 29/06/2009 10:24

If she's lonely and wants to be close, then she won't stay in her slef-contained annex much of the tome though, will she? She'll always be "popping in" to see you... and you can't claim to be busy, or hide and pretend to be out....

This wouldn't just be sharing the property, given what you say she's like, this would be sharing your lives.

TheArmadillo · 29/06/2009 10:25

still close enough to cause probs.

think of all the problems people have with their neighbours who are in a completely seperate property.

Original poster
idunno · 29/06/2009 10:40

You lot are harsh ! Not meaning to drip feed info but the thing is, she is also very honest and has acknowledged her 'bad' points. And asked us to pull her up on it if she gets out of line. We realised that there will be arguments. Partner in particular is thinking along the lines of us being a more traditional family unit - ie 3 generations, giving more support to me, enabling me to get back to work at some point and not have to worry about childcare, having a babysitter on tap. It's a way of living I hadn't really considered but it would have its benefits. I have stipulated from the outset that I would want a property with a self contained annexe to allow us all to retain privacy and she is totally in agreement with that. It would be more like living next door to her I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
idunno · 29/06/2009 10:40

You lot are harsh ! Not meaning to drip feed info but the thing is, she is also very honest and has acknowledged her 'bad' points. And asked us to pull her up on it if she gets out of line. We realised that there will be arguments. Partner in particular is thinking along the lines of us being a more traditional family unit - ie 3 generations, giving more support to me, enabling me to get back to work at some point and not have to worry about childcare, having a babysitter on tap. It's a way of living I hadn't really considered but it would have its benefits. I have stipulated from the outset that I would want a property with a self contained annexe to allow us all to retain privacy and she is totally in agreement with that. It would be more like living next door to her I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
idunno · 29/06/2009 10:43

Actually I'd be interested to hear from anyone who is already in this situation and how they cope with any conflict...

Thanks all for your replies though - interesting to get a gut reaction and I will keep thinking...

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 29/06/2009 20:41

I completely understand that it would be more like living next door - but I still think the same as the previous posters

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