Should I persevere in PTA stuff?

[lljkk]

I used to think our school PTA wasn't like the PTAs that MNers complain about. I can't see big egos involved or a committed clique of those involved.

But I'm not so sure now...

Today was Mufti: I asked a TA in DS class did she know where to take the donations. Actually, I knew where they'd go, they ALWAYS get stored in the Enclosed Porch area off the Assembly Hall. TA said she didn't know, I asked a more regular PTA-meeting attender (notoriously bitchy manner).

"I don't know, why do you ask?" she said. I said I could help cart the stuff over.

"We have enough helpers" she says. I turn around to see the PTA chair approach, I ask her where the donations go.

"The veranda" (okay, so now I know that's a name for an enclosed porch). I scoop up a big load, as much as anybody could carry in one load:

"Oh, don't take that yet, we want to wait until everything is in".

So I go back outside to my toddler waiting in pushchair and think, "No point in me trying to help", and I just walked away.

I know I'm being oversensitive today, but all this comes on back of other things. They insist on holding school Fete on a Friday afternoon, so I can't help with stalls at all unless DH takes the day off work. They insist on holding Discos ALWAYS on a Thursday; they just reckon that's the always the best day. The last few Discos I offered to be a helper I was definitely a spare wheel, they didn't need me at all.

Once I tried to help sort Tombola stuff; I kept asking what to do and nobody answered clearly. Eventually everyone started moving and sorting, then someone exclaimed "Why is all this over here!?" Turns out I was piling stuff up incorrectly. I confessed it was me, they sort of explained, I stood back, everyone continued doing whatever they were doing, I just left, don't think anyone noticed.

It just seems like every time I try to help I'm not needed, or I do it wrong. Should I just leave it? Are some people just not cut out to be on the PTA? But it is amusing when PTA people moan about lack of help from other parents...

Just leave. In my view adults have no need to tolerate this sort of playground nonsence.

Welcome to the world of the PTA. Unfortunately some women people have so little going on in their lives that the PTA is the only arena where they can exert some control.

My friend who has a huuuge house was kind enough to host a PTA event for the parents of her sons class.

Before she knew it, women were ringing her up 'have you thought about flowers?' 'where will you be putting the juke box? Is that wise?' And this was an event in her own home.

If you don't feel it's right for you, drop it, find another way to help the school, maybe in the classroom, or on school trips. Go direct to the teacher and give the PTA be-atches a miss.

So you don't think I'm being stupidly oversensitive?

It doesn't feel like control-freakery to me, just massive disorganisation, really!! And some personality politics (other stuff I don't want to bore you all with further). DD doesn't like to hang around during the meetings (always straight after school) so I can't go to them any more, but even when I went to them regularly I still seemed to be out of the loop about how to do things or what to do. I have asked to be given minutes but I think the secretary forgot I ever asked.

Yes, you're right, I will try to do helpful things in other ways.