... if you wanted to firmly but nicely discourage the neighbours' kids from visiting whenever they felt like it

[fourleafclover]

Hiya, hope this is the right place for this!

I've got a little situation that's sort of OK for now but I can see that I'll have to nip it in the bud and I don't really know how to handle it...

I've looked after plenty of kids but never been the primary caregiver of any except my 11-month-old DD, and I need some insights into five-year-old psychology!

I've got lovely friendly neighbours. One of the lovely neighbours has two lovely, nicely-brought-up, well-behaved DDs, aged, I think, about just turned 5 and about 3.

Now that it's summer, the eldest of the lovely neighbour girls has taken to coming around to my back garden if she spots me there (with her little sister in tow) and wanting to play with the baby. The first time she just hovered by the back gate (but I told her that she could come and visit if she got her mummy's permission). The second time, she was straight around trying the handle of the back gate and I had to jump up and head them off at the pass. Their mum came and told them off for leaving their garden without telling her, and made them come home, but they protested hugely that they wanted to play with the baby. I can see that this is going to happen all summer long whenever I'm out in the garden!

Now they're lovely girls and I'm happy for them to come and play with the baby sometimes, but not every single time I'm out there. They're a bit too much for my LO and I have to stop whatever I'm doing to supervise them, and of course they try everything to avoid being sent home, and there's only so much I'm prepared to hide inside by saying 'baby needs to sleep now'.

So what can I say to head them off at the pass?

Telling them they have to ask their mummy's permission is obvious, but then their mummy may think it's an invitation and say 'yes' (I will talk to her about it when I get a chance, but I probably won't for ages!)

And I don't want to be mean, or offend their mother (who may well overhear me).

OH suggested 'baby wants to play alone' but I think that will just encourage delaying tactics from the bright little button of a five-year-old.

Should I say 'you mustn't come over unless I invite you?' Let them come over for a quick look and then send them packing? How should I phrase all of this? What delaying tactics are they likely to use and what is a good way of countering them? Help! and thanks

[FluffyBunnyGoneBad]

Just tell them that you are busy so they can't come in today.

[fourleafclover]

Ooh good idea - I can see I have a lot to learn!