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Original poster

if you heard that a 7 year old child was being left alone at home?

21 replies

babyhouse · 20/05/2009 14:11

Heard today from a trusted friend that child at school left at home alone in the mornings after parents gone to work. Walks to school alone(not far) has mobile in bag to let mum know when arrives....My friend witnessed/heard the phone conversation.
DH thinks I should stay out of it and not get involved but I feel that I should tell someone at school, what if they hurt themselves, would not forgive myself...

OP posts:

SparklyGothKat · 20/05/2009 14:12

far too young, I only recently have started leaving my 11 year old home alone for a very short time...

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 20/05/2009 14:13

Personally - and I don't have a 7 year old. I think if the parents have decided this is ok and the school are happy for the child not to be bought in by the parents or a child minder then it in't a problem,

Hulababy · 20/05/2009 14:14

I would let the child's teacher/school know for them to look into it. Are school aware that she has a mobile phone at school too?

IMO 7y is way too young to be left alone and to be responsible for locking up the house, etc. Not keen on idea of a 7y carrying a mobile phone either - might make them a target by th not so nice type.

nickytwotimes · 20/05/2009 14:14

What Greyskull said.
I can't imagine doing it myslef, but it is not illegal and it sounds like the kid's welfare is being attended to.

Original poster

babyhouse · 20/05/2009 14:18

Mobiles not allowed at school but obviously dont know if school is aware of situation, although would be amazed if they were!
Would have thought it would be illegal though, does anyone know for a fact?

OP posts:

bargainhuntingbetty · 20/05/2009 14:20

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted for neglect if they leave a child unsupervised ?in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health? (Children and Young Person?s Act)

OrmIrian · 20/05/2009 14:20

One of DS#1's friends was doing this - I think he was about 8 or 9. I was more impressed that his mum felt she could trust him to lock the doors and not lose his door key than anything else.

stripeypineapple · 20/05/2009 14:28

I have a 7 year old and there is no way I would leave her alone in the house or let her walk to school alone and neither would she want to be left for that matter but each child is different and perhaps this child is fine with it.

If I were you I would do as Hulababy says; ask school if they are aware as you are concerned. That way you have done your bit towards the child's safety and if all other parties involved i.e parents(whose decision ultimately is) and school still think it's suitable then you'll have to keep your opinions to yourself and hope the kid is ok.

Rubyrubyruby · 20/05/2009 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 20/05/2009 14:32

i'd keep out of it.....you don't know the family,and you only have heresay to go by.

all individual children have different levels of maturity. my 6 year old ds is more level headed than my 10 year old ds.

skramble · 20/05/2009 14:35

Where we live it wouldn't be a problem for me really, I jsut wouldn't trust my youngest to be ready on time and actually remeber to go to school, however my oldest is great at getting ready even at that age he was very good.

TBH I wouldn't want to have to do that every morning but if I had to I would have on occasion.

Mine have walked to school them selves since about age 6.5 because of the type of place we live it is fine.

mloo · 20/05/2009 14:51

I would do nothing but observe.

Because it happened to me -- only I wasn't the observer, I was the mum of the 7yo. He was left alone at a home briefly a handful of times before he was 8, and mostly walking to school alone for a few months when he was almost 8yo.

And it completely messed my head up after I was reported to NSPCC and SS called and advised me not to (but they didn't order me not to, iyswim). When I asked how old was okay to let my son do those things, SS couldn't possibly say. Keep in mind, they never met my son.

So now I live in an area where it is normal for eight to ten-yr olds to play out alone or go to the shops alone, but I have no idea if I will get reported to NSPCC if I let my son do the same. Someone has been completely two-faced, asking me nicely for details about my family, and then running off and reporting me to SS.

Sorry, did I mention that the experience has completely messed my head up? Undermined my confidence? Made me unsure about who is watching, who is a friend and who is really just out to judge me?

Oh -and teachers at the school knew that I was letting my son walk to school alone (well, technically he usually just went ahead of me by 5-10 minutes since I had another child to take up there), and they were okay about it. But it turns out that SS wasn't okay about it... nor was some nosy observer.

The worst part is that my mother was a social worker for at-risk children; that's another reason I'm so irate. I know the difference between managed risk and actual neglect.

seeker · 20/05/2009 14:56

I would be a bit worried about him forgetting to lock the house up properly, but I suppose all he has to do is slam the door? Or getting so involved in the TV that he was late for school. But apart for that I have no problem with this at all. Unless there have been a lot of alien abductions in your area recently?

Peachy · 20/05/2009 15:02

the TA's son at school does this (at 8).

TBH I am jealous that she can do so, I often encourage him to walk with us in a non obvious way (he seems to latch on to us) but otherwise aprental judgement

I used to walk to school alone across several roads at 7, we all did.

Original poster

babyhouse · 20/05/2009 15:49

Thanks for all opinions, good to hear both sides of a situation.
Didnt mean to offend anyone, sorry if I did so. Maybe looking at it now that if the parents are happy then its their responsibility, not mine to judge.

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 20/05/2009 15:53

I think so babyhouse...it would be a different matter if the child was obviously neglected, but it sounds like the parents care about this child and are just making a decision which you wouldn't.

islandofsodor · 20/05/2009 15:58

I wouldn't let MY 7 year old dd. However that is because she is a dippy daydream who when told to go and put her coat on forgets what she is supposed to be doing in the time it takes to walk to the wardrobe.

There are 7 year olds in the year above her though (Yr 3) who would be perfectly fine with doing this.

Dophus · 20/05/2009 16:01

Not yours to judge. I used to walk to school at this age.

Depends on the loaction, length of time alone and, most of all, the child.

DottyDot · 20/05/2009 16:03

It's so tricky because it's so individual. My 7 year old ds has started having guitar lessons down the road from us. To get there we have to cross 2 very small roads (both cul de sacs so no through traffic) but walk down a busy main road - not crossing over.

It's about 6 minutes away and he's started to talk about going on his own.

In a way I'd love him to - much easier! But I'd feel guilty for letting him. He's incredibly sensible, crosses roads beautifully and I think would be absolutely fine doing it - but it's more what other people would think if they saw this still small child carrying his guitar and walking down the road on his own!

So we've negotiated to letting him when he's 8 (probably). He's gutted at this - six months to go - but it's about what you feel is right.

Ho hum. witter over!

onagar · 20/05/2009 16:05

If the parents have worked out a system which they feel is safe enough that's their business. The mobile phone suggests that they keep in touch to know things are ok.

As a seperate issue reporting that this child (or any child) has a mobile phone so that the school forbid it would increase the risk.

Original poster

babyhouse · 20/05/2009 16:15

Just a small note to say I was more concerned about the being left alone in the house than the walking to school...but have now decided I will stay out of it!

OP posts:

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