Etiquette of return birthday party invitations

[cornflakegirl]

DS turns 4 shortly, and we?re organising his party. I?m not sure whether we should invite one little girl from his preschool. She invited him to her party a couple of months ago, and she seems lovely. However, when I asked DS whether he wanted to invite her, he said that she?s not his friend. Tbh, I hadn?t heard him mention her before the party invite, or since, and she?s not on the list of people that he plays with that preschool gave us (at our request).

I feel that we should invite this little girl, out of reciprocity (hers wasn?t a huge whole class party). I don?t think he?d be upset if we did invite her ? I don?t think he dislikes her. But I also feel that DS should be allowed to choose who to invite (am letting him invite one child who I?d prefer not to, and also leave out a couple that I thought he might want there). WWYD?

Invite her. Doesn't seem to be any good reason not to.

his party let him choose

Anyone else?

Have another chat with DS and point out that parties are more fun the more guests there are and that it might be a way to get to know another friend, and see if he changes his mind! Abide by his ultimate decision.

Agree it is his party, let him choose. Don't worry about reciprocity.

Invite her. Children's friendships are so volatile at that age, and also they don't always give you reliable reports about who they play with.
It's different when they're older, when they should have more of a say themselves.

Oooh - the thread perked up!

I spoke to DS again last night, and said that it would be a nice thing to invite the little girl because she invited him to her party. He was fine with it, so she will be invited.

I really thought there would be more people saying it was important to reciprocate, and that I might be out of touch by not really being bothered whether his preschool cohorts invite him back to their parties or not. So thank you for all your thoughts.