if you and DH disagree about whether or not to let DC sleep with you sometimes?

[hereidrawtheline]

DS has been sick the last couple of days with fever and last 2 night in a row has gone to bed in his own bed, then woke up crying and unwell and asks to come to bed with me. I say me because he says "I want to go in Mama's bed" there is a sort of family in joke that DH is an invited guest only because DS has always called it my bed. Anyway...

So I have taken him in bed with us because I feel it is a child's right to sleep in bed with their parents when they are ill or upset. In fact at this age (2.9) many children still co-sleep which we stopped doing around 6 months. I love sleeping with DS, he is warm and soft and cuddly and gorgeous.

Now DH has good reasons for not liking it. DS has a history of not actually sleeping but jumping about and talking non stop as soon as he gets in our bed. But the last 2 nights he has crashed as soon as he got in. And I did say if he did that he would have to go back in his bed and DS agreed and duly did not do it.

Also DH is worried it will set a pattern of sleepless nights - I agree, but I just think its one of those things you just have to deal with and sort out when it happens.

When DS is not feeling well and very upset and is calling out for me crying I just think - you know he is a baby still. Let him come in. Most adults dont like sleeping alone so why should I make him do it even when he is miserable. Most nights he is happy, loves his bed, loves his friends he sleeps with (of the cuddly variety) and our cat sleeps on his feet. But sometimes he is miserable.

So I guess I am not really asking if I am right or wrong because I dont really have any intention of changing, I will always let him in bed with me when my gut tells me he needs it. I guess what I am asking is how do I make DH not miserable about it? It is only very occasionally.

I've found it is quite easy to get things back on track once they're well again. Guess if DH really doesn't like it, the alternative is for him to sit by DS's bed to soothe him whilst he's poorly. May soon change his mind . Think the only thing that will make DH not be miserable is to see that you mean it when you say as soon as he's better it is situation normal and he's back in his own bed. I agree with you, when they're poorly they sometimes just need to be with you.

They do need you when they're poorly. My DH sometimes goes and gets into the bed of whichever child has migrated into ours. That way we all get some sleep. I often finds it sorts itself out when the child feels better anyway - they don't wake as they don't feel poorly.

As I do ALL the night wakings in our house I think it is my call when a dc comes into bed with us. If dh was prepared to get up and do his share then I'd let him have a say on the matter. Thankfully we are at the stage now where non of them wake often. The other alternative is to make up a camp bed next to child's bed.

I have cuddled up with DS1 on the odd occasion (not much fun in a single bed). Would that work for you? My DH sounds like yours!

I will never leave my bed. It is my bed so DS comes to me. I explained it more in depth to DH about how he has forgotten what it feels like to be a child blah blah and he agreed last night if DS woke in the night to come in he could without making an issue of it. But he didnt! So he is feeling better