Can you please help me navigate this slightly awkward social situation...

[DuffyFluckling]

I'm not very good at saying no.

We had a party. Towards the end of the party (everyone a bit sozzled) I was saying that we ought to do a pub quiz party. One chap thought it was a GREAT idea and said that THEY would host it.

I don't know the couple particularly well but they seem nice.

So now, when I bump into his wife at toddler group, she has started saying "right, lets get organised with this pub quiz party. We'll have it at ours. How about the end of the month?"

I'm not really sure what they want me to do. Maybe they think I'll do the quiz and they'll do the food? But then who gets invited? I don't really want to do a joint effort with them to be honest. They might even mean me to do it all at their house, food and everything.

Would be happy to do a pub quiz night here (but not for a couple of months).

Would be delighted to be invited out to their house for a pub quiz.

I'm putting off asking exactly what they have in mind because I am weak minded and will end up agreeing to whatever they want no matter how awkward and uncomfortable.

How do I ask about it? What do I say? How do I manage to not get overly involved?

I don't want to be an arse about it, but I also don't want to be railroaded into running a (drunken idea) pub quiz at the house of people I don't know well. I'm not a hired entertainer! I'd be really nervous about it all falling completely flat, especially because at their house I couldn;t be completely in charge of how to do it.

WWYD?

don;t mention it. next time she brings it up just say well let me know when you want us over and i'll arrange a baby sitter.

let her know that your expecting your involvment to be as a guest only

Um...Pub quiz

• questions

• food

-people (doesn't even have to be that many)

Could you not sort out questions?

I'd like to, but I think they already think I'm involved and have agreed to... something.

But I'm not sure what.

Oh I just want it all to go away.

We'd have to take the children, which is fine, but is another reason why I wouldn't want to be joint hosting something at someone elses house while entertaining / settling my young children away from their own beds. Could I say something like this as a reason I'm not going to do much? How could I phrase it?

I'd expect that he would want help with the guest list and the quiz questions only.
Next time he mentions it offer those - 'how about i come up with half the questions and you let me know if you need a hand with anything else later on?' type thing

X-posted Purple. Yes, I could just do the questions.

I think that's perhaps what I'll angle for.

I suppose I don't really see WHY they want me to do it. Why can't they do it if they want to have a party?

I don't actually WANT to do a quiz for someone elses party. I'd be happy to do a quiz for my party, but sirely they could do a quiz for their own party?

I'm a bit irritated I suppose.

Oh. It's been a long day. Maybe I should be more charitable and join in the fun.

Can people see why I'm not that keen?

Would something likethis be any help to you?

I love hosting parties, never get to do it anymore, so maybe I am biased, but I'd love to be involved if I were you!

Duffy!!!
It was your idea!! They didn't pluck the idea out of the air! Of course they think you are up for helping!!!

Are you a bit nervous socially? Were you maybe feeling a bit brave with the added alcohol?
If so, then maybe this is a great way to form a bit of a friendship.

You know, you could just ask all of us for questions

It wasn't really my idea to do it at their house jointly. I don't really know them.

No, I'm not remotely awkward socially, and I love hosting parties too, but that's the point. I either like hosting, or I like being a guest and getting gently sozzled and chatting to people. It seems like the worst of both worlds to be at someone elses house (so juggling children) but also on duty and semi-hosting for someone elses guests.

We've thrown two big parties in the last month so maybe I'm a bit burned out.

I can see people think I'm being a bit of a killjoy about it. I could do it, I just don't really want to do it.

Oh well.

Thanks for the link cupoftea.

"I am weak minded and will end up agreeing to whatever they want no matter how awkward and uncomfortable."

If you are like this, do NOT be in charge of the questions.

People like me get arsey if the question-setter gets an answer wrong or if it is debateable. That will make you the focus of attention in the evening much more than doing food, or whatever.

You need a strong minded quizmaster to face down people who want to point out that, no, Sean Connery may have been the first official James Bond, but, actually, David Niven and Woody Allen played Bond first in a spoof movie of Casino Royale .... etc, etc.....

Exactly!

So, to repeat my OP, "How do I ask about it? What do I say? How do I manage to not get overly involved?"

is it too late to say 'actually, i'm a bit overstretched this month, let's do it in a couple of months?' and of course try not to commit yourself to doing more later.

otherwise, my usual strategy is thudding bluntness 'how do you see this working? how do you want me involved?' and then say no to the bits you're not happy doing. i think it's very reasonably to say no to co-hosting when it's not your house and you don't really know these people.

i think they're just trying to be friendly.