The Circle of Life Goes On.

[mummylin2495]

sorry but i couldnt think of anything eles to put !!!!

what the one who lost her son ? >

< stops acting gruff >

Thanks, M, I know you're always there for me.

I can't quite bring myself to print it all out but you can probably guess the length of it

The problem, not his willy I mean

Yes, friend who lost her son.

How do you deal with that kind of loss?

How do you keep putting one foot infront of the other?

yes, is it going to be the same outcome as before ?

don't know, m.

tis his call.

i'm in for life.

she is not coping well at all ,and it is now three years ago,but she found himhaging ,how do you move on from that ? she dosen mix with people anymore and sits in her bedroom most of the day,i had to tell a little white lie to get her here [ i told her another friend was going to be here too]ans she agreed she would come ,i then had to contac the other friend and tell her what i had done !!! we were going to get a chinese but damn shop was closed so i cooked egg,bacon and chips at 9pm last night ,chinese style of course she stayed till nearly 11 which is a big step for her.it is so sad.

awful.

her heart must be completely broken.

its hard for you tnog,but i dont know what you can do about it.Agree it but only for so long ? i dont know

I have to go in a min.

Sorry for being a huge moany pain in the backside, droning on about you never being here to listen to my woes.

I think we will always be like this

I just worry about impact on G.

yes it is,she is devastaed and will never forgive herself for goingout to the shop at tha time,she nearly didnt go and delayed ittill the next day but she did.She dosent eat hardly at all [ though because i cooked for her she ate it im glad to say.} the pain must be unbearable for her

im usually around somewhere ,and i always look for you ,i have either missed you or you havent posted.you should know by now that i will be here for you .

she must have the most dreadful images in her head.

He must have been so alone.

In his mind I mean.

he will be fine tnog ,as long as there is a lot of communication between you all.Its very difficult to know what to say/tell him now he is getting a bit older as well

yes he must of been ina very bad place ,there have been a lot of rumours aboutdrugs involved ,and i dontknow if they are true or not,butheis still herson and as you say the image will haunt her forever.Oh my god I cant imagine it.she has a web site for him and she writes the most lovely letters and things to him.She has another son but that hasnt helped her at all,and the one who died had two children

I think you're right.

i never imagined my life would be like this.

It's good in lots of ways, i'm fortunate in some aspects, lesss so in others.

G knows he's loved, cherished and he'll make his own way, but i don't want him look back with resentment and unhappiness because of selfishness and lack of commitment on our part.

I wonder does she feel she let him down in some way?

some people have terrible things to cope with in their lives,and it seems that tragedy stalks them,her husband was killed in a car crash many years ago now

She didn't, of course.

i just wonder how you face it all.

she feels she should of noticed there was something wrong ,but she didnt,he may of tried to shield her from bad things going on. tong G will know that he is loved by both of you,that is the main thing.he needs to know that its nothing he can prevent,but you need to tell him why dh feels the need to do this.You obviously dont tell him anything he dosent need to know,just the basics,he is too young for major details ,but as i said ,as long as he knows that he is loved all will be well,he is 12 now isnt he ?

Poor woman.

G is 11, soon 12.

Dh and I will remain in this home together and I'll/we'll try and work on whatever needs working on.

I am partly/largely to blame, I recognise that.

i dont think she can face it at all.And she is no further down the line from when it happened.It was three yeras ago about a fortnight before xmas ,which of course she dosent now celebrate ,not even cards.she avoids seeing people ,stays in her bedroom ,dosent eat,and just thinks about it all,all the time.its tragic

,i dare say there is blame on both sides really ,but no point dwelling on that ,all you can do is to give it your best shot,and both make changes that will bring solutions for both of you.Its not dead yet tnog so dont give up on it.

its obvious that you love dh,and im sure he cares about you too,while there is still love there is a lot of hope.Its when there is no love at all,that its the end.

well ,i guess you have gone off for a while so i will come back in an hour and see if you reappear,keep your chin up tnog x