Know any good jokes????

[SeaShells]

Anyone got any good jokes, I'm in need of a good laugh......

I'll start........

Q:Why can't skeletons play music in church?

A:Because they've got no organs!

(sorry it's pants I know, didn't want to start with anything that could cause an argument!)

Was my joke that bad?

Q:How does the man on the moon get his hair cut?

A:Eclipse it.

I applaud your attempt to lighten things up on MN Seashells!

My jokes are crap though! ds2 tells some really corny ones which I would repeat if I could remember them.

Sorry.

My favourite...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Lucy

Lucy who?

Lucy lastic your pants are falling down!

If it's any consolation, your jokes are better than dd's. But then, she's 3, and has just reached the joke-telling stage - a little before reaching the "grasping the concept of what a joke is" stage...

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, we'd have to call them bagels....

lol, Maiou

My Mum's favourite joke:

Elephant, walking through the jungle, sees a mouse...

Elephant [in big, booming, elephant-type voice]:
Mouse! You down there! I have always wondered why I am so big and strong, powerful and magnificent and you are so weak and puny, small and pitiful.

Mouse [in small squeaky mouse-like voice]: Well I have been ill...

Don't know too many jokes but here you go.

A man bought a camel and was so pleased with it he thought he'd show it off to everyone. So off he goes riding the camel up and down the high street. After a while he gets thirsty do he decides to stop for a pint. He ties his camel up outside the pub and goes in. He has a pint and then decides to go for another ride. He goes outside only to discover that the camel has been stolen. He sees a bobby coming down the road and so stops him and says, "My camel has been stolen, you have to help me get it back". The police man says, " Well what does your camel look like?" "The man said I can't remeber exactly, it's sandy coloured that's about all I can tell you". The police man says, "Well how big was it?" " I don't know" says the man, "I've only just bought it" "How many humps has it got?" asks the police man. Again the man says, "I don't know I just bought it" "Well was it male or female?" "It was definately female" says the man. Confused the police man asks, "How can you be sure if you just bought it ans don't even know how many humps it has or how big it is?". The man says, "Because when I was riding it up and down the high street I heard people shouting, Look at the fanny on that camel"!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to lower the tone but I thought this was hilarious when I heard it!!!!!

Maria gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies.

She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies.

A few weeks later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward.

"At least they're finally together."

"Excuse me, Father," says one of her sons, "but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

"I mean her legs."