rofl....
Why is it that people with bad breath, always want to tell you secrets?
"If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?"
Never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously you never get hurt, if you never get hurt you always have fun and, if you ever get lonely...just go to the record store, and visit your friends Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) "Almost Famous"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Behind every succesful man is the women tired of doing his work
This morning I looked at my unmade bed and decided that it was art in another medium and I should not destroy it.
~A real friend isn't someone that walks in when the rest of the world walks out........a real friend is someone that was there with u the whole time~
kids are like cookies...theyre fun to make, even if they turn out bad
I wish my mum had told me the same things about guys as she had about horror movies when I was five. Don't worry Hunny it's all fake!!!
When we lose weight...where does it all go?!
"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how." Rhett Butler(Clark Gable)Gone With the Wind
All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.
In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on it's head!"
Hurting you is the last thing i want to do. but it's still on the list