Accompanying your adult child to GP appointment

[TheBlueRobin]

Visited my ILs last week. My MIL is pleasant but can be overbearing, very involved in her daughter's life, and very black and white.

My DH has a younger sister, age 24, who is living back home for a bit to save money after her Masters finished. She's lived independently in another city 150 miles away for 4+ years.

MIL told us that SIL had been poorly with a virus, potentially an ear infection. Booked a doctors appointment locally, MIL told us what she said to the doctor and their conversation (including calling the doctor a quack for not examining her), and it sounds like SIL was sat in silence. SIL was out at the time so didn't get her version of events.

Coming away I was gobsmacked that a parent would accompany an adult child to the GP. She's 24! There's no reason why she can't advocate for herself.

I do understand parents being worried, SIL does have asthma and allergies that have affected her over the years.

I think these are all normal reasons, especially if things escalate, but if you've got a standard virus and your GP is a short walk in the village, I'm not sure it warrants other adult involvement.

Does it need to "warrant" it? If MIL was free and fancied stretching her legs and/or SIL fancied some company why not?

Perhaps your DH can have a word with his sister and check she's OK.

I went with my DH recently as it was easier for me to describe the symptoms as an observer. I’d actually love it if my mum came with me and I’m nearly 50!

Wow I’m obviously in the minority here . I’m 68 and I’ve never asked my mum to come to a medical appointment with me , even when I was much younger. However I work in healthcare and don’t take any nonsense from doctors or nurses . Thankfully I’ve never had anything serious. My DD and DS have never asked me to accompany them , except when they’ve had a procedure needing sedation or GA and need a lift home , Both my kids are confident and will ask questions and query things .
The OPs mil sound overly involved with her dd

No she didn't get antibiotics, because doctor thought it was a passing virus. MIL called him a quack and booked her in with someone else.

I think the fact that what you appreciated from your mum was the practical help she gave you rather then emotional support, even just from being there speaks volumes about how you view relationships between adults DC and parents.

That said your further posts are suggesting that MIL has no boundaries

Your MIL sounds overbearing and I'll informed in this instance and certainly did not need to attend in the citcumstances. However in certain cases sometimes it is good. I asked my Dad to attend a medical appointment with me as I knew there was going to be a lot of information thrown at me and that I had a lot of things I need to confirm. He took a few notes and remembered to ask a couple of questions I forgot. However this was with a Consultant and for something more serious.

As people generally don’t want to share their health/medical concerns with all family members I’m not sure you can determine who does and doesn’t warrant support.