Blocked by Tinder date

[andara]

I was feeling a bit sad about this today so I wanted to vent and get a few opinions.

I matched with a guy on Tinder 2 weeks ago. We went on first date last night. He was nice and very complimentary at the start. He said things like 'if i had to choose anyone in life I would choose you' 'You make me feel like i could fall in love'. Very smooth, charming

Then he went on to talk about his ex wife. He was very negative about her. That she wouldn't let him do things because she was jealous.

Then he talked badly about lots of other women that he had been with. He said that a lot of them were crazy and stalked him after he left them. He said he blocked one woman and then she texted him from five other numbers.

Then he told me about a lot more negative things in his life.

At this stage I did say ' Can we talk about some fun positive thing, you are talking about a lot of negative things'. He said 'like what' . I said 'crazy ex wife, women whove treated you bad, problems at work, problems in family, I've just met you, I don't need to know all that on the first date, lets just relax and have a nice time'

He then said ' I have talked about some positive things - you just didn't listen'. Then he got angry and said 'I'm done' and just walked off! I said 'I'm done too'.

Then I went home and saw that he blocked me on everything.

Like he is a red flag right, but I don't know how he did it, he's just made me feel really bad today and made me feel like Im the crazy one! He has messed with my mind. No doubt. he will add me to the list and tell the next woman that Im crazy.

What do you think about this?

You dodged a bullet! First date and he’s already blaming you for his awful behaviour.

OMG he was a walking red flag from the off! You were polite and listened but my god what an awful date. And your tutor make it sound that him blocking you is the issue? He’s an asshole thank goodness he is gone!

I think you handled it brilliantly. Takes balls to pull someone up like that! Good for you!

Bloody hell, you handled it really well and had a very lucky escape my lovely! He sounds unstable 😳 don't feel sad, you were just unlucky to encounter a nasty man, give yourself a pat on the back for calling him out! Your bullshit radar is working well!!

lol @ those chat up lines.

They should have been enough to get up and leave before listening to the rest of his rubbish.

Was his name Jacob?

Sounds fucking crackers.

It sounds like a lucky escape

OP, you have successfully dodged a bullet. Please do not let this put you off. If he tells your work friend you are crazy, it will only reflect badly on him. You don't sound like the first woman to have had this experience with him. Sorry you wasted a perfectly good night on him. He sounds batshit and you sound great. Don't give him another thought.

It's not you, it's him. You dodged a bullet there. Think he needs one those signs you see on tankers attaching eg toxic, corrosive

I love that you called him out.

Please don't stress, you should be really proud of yourself. If work guy believes him then he is a dick too.

You held a mirror up to him and he didn’t like it. He sounds exhausting you dodged a bullet. Be proud of yourself. He love bombed you in the beginning with his lines then tested to see if you would tolerate him, you showed him you wouldn’t. Well done.

I think hes an utter twat and that many women, for whatever reason question themselves after a 'block' and him being the 1st one saying 'I'm done' Who cares -you rightly called him out. Good on you

I think you had a lucky escape Op and saved yourself a lot of aggravation further down the line. He told you how he treats women, don't be surprised it's happened to you.

Women are socialised to listen, support and avoid social rupture. That's why you felt all over the place when he flounced off. However, you also have healthy instincts for avoiding creepy, misogynistic wankers - well done and keep refining them!

Why on Earth didn’t you do the blocking? He’s got a festival of red flags flying from a red hot air balloon flying a red flag.

I had my worst experiences on Tinder

I know the same men are also on Hinge but there are also better men on Hinge depending on what you’re looking for

I think you need to thank your God you saved all the time you could have wasted on this gaslighting self important PoS.

Youre so lucky the rubbish took itself out

I guess look up narcissists and love bombing, and try to brush it off. He does not like women, why are all his exs crazy & oh yes they must be desperate to get with this guy. They do this & you're left thinking its your fault. Have an early night, a cry, chocolate, whatever it takes to get that unpleasant experience out of your life and tomorrow start fresh. Maybe give tinder a break for a week.

You've had a narrow escape, be grateful!

Dating apps are FULL of men like this

Tbh it’s not just the dating apps. It’s life sadly.

Rejoice!!!! You’ve dodged a bullet

Now you see how women can get entangled with these type of men. From the word go they are making webs.

Even after a few hours with him you felt unbalanced. Your instincts are red hot. Be glad he blocked you and be ready if he comes back. He is a very bad one.

Urgh. Walking red flag. He obviously hasn’t read the dating rule book about not referencing crazy ex wife , women disappointments on a first date - but I think that’s a good thing as he showed you who he is without even bothering with the mask in the first place. He’s inadvertently done you a huge favour.

I went on a first date in the summer. Really nice guy (well it seemed that way) we clicked, good looking (though I am realising it’s often the obviously good looking ones that are the biggest nightmares) , we went for a long walk then a couple of drinks. I was going to a gig nearby afterwards so I got up to leave and he enthusiastically said he’d walk me there. We hugged goodbye and he joked about not kissing on a first date even though he’d like to.
I was geed up! 3 hours later I get a standard cut and paste message about how he wasn’t feeling anything more than friendship vibes.. fine - odd as he was giving off all of the signals but whatever.. but what really surprised me was that he blocked me as soon as he’d hit send!

I’m not some crazy woman who was going to beg/ plead/ have a go at him . I thought it was very odd behaviour and not someone I’d want in my life anyway.
And I left my sunglasses on the train on my way to meet him. I blame him for that too.

What on earth have I just read? Catch yourself on woman