WWYD - children stealing Halloween sweets

[Monket]

In short, we hosted a small trick or treating session last night. My Y2 child had 3 friends over and it’s come out this morning that whilst my DC left their pile of sweets briefly (they were all trading them after being out), two of the guests grabbed some of my child’s. The third guest told my child when my child came back, and my child asked for their sweets back but the other two didn’t return them.

I've pointed out to my DC that there’s nothing I can do now and they should have told me at the time. What would you do? Should I mention to the parents of the two? I don’t want the sweets back or any bad feeling - but I would be appalled if my DC behaved like this on a play date and would certainly want to know.

I suspect the ship has sailed and I should leave it, but my DC has a chronic issue with standing up for themselves (this is a prime example) and I’m keen to show them it’s okay to be firm on unkind behaviour. Advice welcome!

It’s Halloween sweets that they collected from neighbours, it’s not theft.

don’t start with these banishments or your kid won’t have any friends at all. TEACH them that this is what happens when you (a) don’t look after your things and (b) stay quiet and don’t stand up for yourself

you can’t, won’t and shouldn’t rush in to fix things like this.

roleplay with your child if you have to, tell them to speak up to you and revisit the situation so that they know how to deal with it.

One could argue that the parenting of the 90s (when I was a child) is what’s led to my hand-wringing now, so I’m not sure that can be held up as a beacon of virtue…!

But I take the broader point. It’s telling that my older DC’s friends didn’t behave like this and neither did the other guest, so I’m not sure it’s entirely standard behaviour. My DC is popular so I’m not worried about ending up friendless (but a bit worried that the popularity may be due to being a pushover!).

Also - to be clear - DC has moved on and I’m just musing, this certainly isn’t a huge deal.

I feel like this isn’t a massive deal. Kids get over excited on Halloween. An adult should have been supervising as it’s super common for kids to behave poorly after all the excitement. I don’t think there’s any benefit to making it a big thing or causing any further upset. You can’t even be sure what’s happened as it’s one child telling your child who is telling you - that’s a lot of steps for small children to be entirely sure what’s actually happened.

My fb newsfeed has many statuses this morning about kids nicking the Halloween sweets. Some even taking the tub aswell. One was on a caravan park where the kids from the site ransacked the bowls left out for them.
Another status where cake sheds have had Halloween cakes taken and not paid for .
On a normal day all youre seeing is people taking sandwiches in Greggs and walking out without paying .

I think now kids are seeing it everywhere on a daily basis and they are no longer being told off by their parents. I know my Mum would've marched me back to the shop if I had stolen as a child but now the parents are at it too and yes its a few sweets but that's where it all starts. Then its a toy from a kid at nursery and then it escalates ...

I agree
I always make sweetie cones, 1 each to take away and then some bowls of other treats to share.