UC, FWB, living together, perimenopausal maniac

[questioneverything01]

That is probably a common issue.
46F, London
I rent privately, my ex is on the tenancy. I cant afford rent. (ex is gone back to his country, he wanted kids, had an affair and an 'accident').
Council told me to find something cheaper. They eventually helped me with the rent. (I asked them for help when I still had good credit score, but already in debt).
I lost my job due to redundancy and company going insolvent over 2 years ago.
Impossible - no saving, rent prices, DRO. I have only just been awarded LCWRA. I did not apply correctly when first became unemployed.
(Im ASD/ADHD/Depression and Anxiety, asthma, slipped disc and perimenopause - I yell at people, I had my meds stopped as a psychiatrist was concerned I am having a manic episode, I am waiting for another psychiatric assessment) (additional mess)

The new UC/LCWRA pretty much only covers the rent.
Rooms in my area cost more than LHA.

(i applied for civil service jobs, and council vacancies etc., NHS for min wage)

I was already under investigation as someone reported me for living with a bf ( a new one, or anyone - I was dating, one neighbour does not like me). I showed my credit card statements etc, and DWP had no issue with this at the end (maybe they gave up after reading my statements).
I have an active DRO, spent all my credit on rent and bills.
I thinking (maybe not super keen) about having this FWB to move in (for a bit maybe, he cannot be around me and my mess, but he does not like his flatmates). Its a one bed flat.
I have read a lot (i think) about living as a couple rules. Potential flatmate insist he is not my bf (he wants me not to be me), (my ex just 'lend' me money for the rent).

How do I present it as a win win? He pays half the rent, council does not have to top up.

Hence my question- when DWP treats someone as a partner?

We dont shop together, we dont share finances. He could become a paying lodger.
I need a bit of financial stability to move forward. Now I am always short even for rent.

I asked council for help (6 months ago). They have more urgent cases.
If we remain as it is I would be relying on the council for DHP, but its a job as well to get them to respond.

I have few friends in London, none financially well to help me.
I dont make friends easily.

If there is only one bedroom you will never convince anybody that he is a paying lodger. Don't do it as you will have a battle with UC or be accused of fraud.

Where will he be sleeping?

@questioneverything01 This is the official internal guidance that decision makers use to determine if two people are living together as a married couple and thus should be on a joint claim. Finances is one thing they do look at. However you will find it very hard to convince UC that your BF is a lodger if you are in a 1 bed.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7575a740f0b6397f35e96f/adme4.pdf

@questioneverything01 Also have you told UC that your ex is no longer living at the property and contributing to rent ? It’s called an untidy tenancy and UC will pay 100% of the rent up to the LHA rate for your area.

If you're living in the same house and sleeping together, then you're living as a couple. No matter how you choose to dress it up.

Yes, they know.

'100% of the rent up to the LHA rate for your area' - I just read that new budget keeps the LHA on the same level (was set in 2024 based on 2023 rents).
When I moved in the rent was £400 lower.
New rents in the building are £500 higher than mine.
nowhere is affordable.

I cannot move without councils intervention.

Well,
if we are a 'couple' for this purpose
but we arent a couple for joint tax benefits, spousal maintenance etc,
I dont have any rights to legally ask him for money, he has no obligations
He makes 13.50 an hour, no savings, no property
still joint claim would cover half the rent, and leave me with no money, we never shared finances

Considering the views and judgment the only solution is to ask for more DHP top ups, and when they stop - temporary/emergency accommodation.

DHP is usually only short term the council will expect you to find somewhere more affordable even if that means moving areas or looking for shared accommodation. You could make a homeless application based on affordability. Assuming you are in England or Wales the council will only provide emergency or temporary if you have priority need. However the council maybe able to negotiate with your landlord in order to keep you at the property. However even if you choose this route there isn’t any guarantee of social housing. The council could offer an affordable private rental.

I contacted the council to find out about my options, but I am reading that they tend to wait for eviction notice
I understand the conditions but I struggle to get any response from them, if they have any database with landlords accepting tenants with active bankruptcy

My current flat was unfurnished

'shared accommodation' with strangers but not with people I know - seemed simple

I dont leave the flat, spend most days in bed,
FWB said my kitchen is health and safety issue and 'accused' me of food poisoning

on days when he is here I get a bit more structure, I shower
I have bad mood swings, and alleged 'manic' episodes

he often leaves when I become like this
we are both 46, broke and immature

Any other person living with you has to be declared to the DWP regardless of whether you are sleeping with them or not. The rules are clear, and you need to adhere to them unless you want your under investigation to become benefit fraud and a criminal record. There is absolutely no point in trying to "present" it in a certain way. Just present the truth. I've worked in welfare benefits for over 15 years and I can assure you that the only approach is to inform the DWP if someone else moves in, and they will apply the UC rules accordingly.

If you don't want to be treated as a couple, then the safest option is not to live as one.