What food would you do for a 4 year olds party with all these allergies?

[Theapartment]

DD is 4 in a couple of weeks and we’re having a little party for her with 6 children, most of them are still 3. Ive booked a room at the leisure centre for 2 hours and was just going to do a party tea and cake, nothing fancy.

The problem is DD has quite a few allergies. Milk, egg, sesame and nuts and a couple of other things that arent as common. Im used to dealing with it at home and checking everything but its different when you’re trying to feed a group of children and I dont want to get something wrong. I know vegan doesnt automatically mean safe for her either.

One of the other mums has told me her child cant eat certain things for religious reasons, which is absolutely fine, I just need to check exactly what they can and cant have rather than guessing.

I was going to do the usual party food, sandwiches, crisps, little bits of fruit and maybe pizza, but obviously I cant just order pizza and assume its ok. Same with the party platters in the supermarket, I have to check everything and then theres the issue of how its been prepared as well.

Ive looked at some of the free from stuff but its expensive when you’re buying enough for everyone, and I dont really want DD to be sat there with a couple of bits of fruit while all the other children have a proper party tea. I know she’s only 4 and probably wont eat much anyway but still.

I work part time and DH does shifts so most of the organising is down to me. I could make everything myself but I dont want to spend the whole day before the party in the kitchen either.

Would you try and find one meal that everyone can have or just do separate food for the children who need it? I could message all the parents and ask them what their children can have but then I feel like Im making a massive thing out of a little party.

Also would you think it was cheeky if I asked a parent to bring something suitable for their own child if I couldnt safely cater for them? I dont want anyone to feel left out, thats the last thing I want, but I also dont want to promise something is safe when Im not 100% sure.

Any cheap ideas welcome because Im getting nowhere with this and its meant to be a little party for 3 and 4 year olds 🙈

You could either cater for your DD and everyone else eats the same or inform the parents that due to the allergies it's easier that you just do a cake and a fruit platter.

You can then add some sweets/biscuits to party bags or have some around in individual packs so that it may not stand out for your DD that she gets something different.

I wouldn't blink but I also never expected that a party tea means DD doesn't need any other food on the day.

It's up to parents to let you know if their child has an allergy, so unless you hear otherwise cater for what you know is safe for your DD and have a couple of options for the child whose parents wants them to avoid certain things. Due to their ages, I'm assuming parents will stay with them, so they can vet what their children have on their plates.

Is there actually a vegan child coming or just a child with religious restrictions?

You really need to start by knowing what you need to exclude.

I would do plates of ham, cheese and jam sandwhiches (clearly labelled), party rings, red Pom bears, fruits (strawberries and blueberries, grapes are too much of a faff to chop).

Can you make hummus and other dips that are suitable for DD plus everyone else? The religious one, it must be to do with animal products. (Could be avoid beef, pork, or chicken has to be halal?) anything vegan must be alright for them?
Then loads of tortilla chips and other savoury snacks and veg sticks, fruit platter, gf vegan pizza? Or make little wraps with the dip stuff inside?

No vegan child as far as I know, its just the one with the religious restrictions. I think I need to message everyone anyway and double check as I havent actually asked all the parents yet.

I will have a look at doing a few separate bits and labelling them, thats a good idea. Hadnt thought about party rings either but will check the ingredients first, thank you x

Dominos is pretty good for allergies if you could budget for ordering pizza and include a dairy free one. If not could you find time to make sandwiches? Jam covers most major allergies/dietary requirements. Oreos are also a good choice for biscuits as they’re vegan.

Sounds as though your now child is the challenging one and you are used to that, so what is the problem? Just make a birthday tea for her, but miss out the pork products. Done

so the 2 sets of requirements are
(DD) - no eggs, nuts, milk, nuts + a couple of other things that you know about. + how to avoid.
(guest) - as yet unspecified but if for religious reasons most likely halal or kosher
?

i would just serve one set of food given numbers.

You mentioned pizza - would you normally get vegan pizza or just pizza without cheese? Can DD handle cheese being on other people's pizzas?

sandwiches - if your DD can't have egg or cheese then don't serve those (is hummus ok?) tuna?

Yes thats pretty much it, although I need to check exactly what the other mum means rather than assume. I think it’s halal.

I dont actually know how she would be with other children having pizza and things she cant have on their plates, as shes still too little to properly understand the allergies. She just knows that if she eats certain things she gets unwell, but she would probably want what her friends have and not understand why she cant have the same. So its not just about keeping it off her plate, I dont want her feeling like shes getting different food either.

Hummus is actually one of the things I need to be careful with because of the sesame, so thats no good for her. Tuna might be an option but I need to check a few things before I decide. I think Im going to message the parents and get the exact requirements first because at the moment Im going round in circles trying to plan it all without knowing for sure x

I always took the view that at my child's party all the food would be safe for them. That was really important to me that at their own birthday there was nothing they couldn't eat

Ham sandwiches.
Cucumber
Sausage rolls
Teddy bear crisps
Jam sandwiches
Party rings
Fruit

I would think pizza, salad and chips would be an option. Supermarkets will show all the ingredients in their pizzas and would cover any food requirements, could be a likely religious issue.eg no pork .That way all the children are having the same meal and no one will stand out.

Just put all the allergies you have to deal with into ChatGPT and it'll come up with a menu with recipes. Your daugther will probably have to go to lots of parties where she gets separate or less food so I'd make her allergies the priority and make sure she can eat all the food available at her own party.

for my child’s party tea, I’m making all food safe for my child: I’m making potato wedges, sausages (safe ones), vegan sausages for the vegans, chopped grapes and satsumas and cucumber sticks. Cake is hard so going for individual GF and vegan chocolate rice crispie cakes. Sweets in the party bags will actually be GF and vegan fruit drops! Food for adults will be safe too which will be crisps and olives. It’s easy to find work around a if you don’t want to buy free from - my child has multiple allergies.

Would your DD know to avoid cheese sandwiches? If you did jam, cheese, vegan chocolate spread, egg, one meat option? Keep the meat on a separate plate and point it out to the other parent. Then vegan sausage rolls, crisps, biscuits, fruit. I think that would be plenty, you don't need pizza as well.

I would do individual lunchboxes - you can get mcdonalds style happy meal boxes you can fill yourself. You can then label them all with kids names so noone gets things they cannot have. And you can be sure your kid has what shes allowed. Then just tell them they cannot share food - something they will be told at school / preschool anyway.

In terms of religious exclusions if its halal - i.e. muslim then I would simply go vegetarian - doesn't need to be vegan. Things to watch are cheese and jelly. Most cheese is ok these days. Jelly I find the powder ones / pre-made cups are more likely to be veggie than the cube melt ones. Sweets can also be an issue - haribo golden bears are usually OK.
(To be truly kosher compliant would be difficult for a non kosher household so hopefully the parents would be more helpful here)

If one child has dietary restrictions for religious reasons, pork products may well be the main issue. So that's ham and sausage rolls out.

Your DD has very similar allergies to my (now adult) DS by the sounds of things. I always made a dairy and egg free birthday cake but other than that I made sure there were enough things that were suitable for him and bought a few "free from" extras that I kept separate for him and any other children with allergies and made "normal" party food for everyone else.
I don't think that it's crucial that everyone can eat everything at a party. As long as there are some things suitable for everyone and it's clear what's what I think that's fine. Presumably at that age the parents will be there to supervise anyway? Obviously it would be totally unreasonable to serve only pork products if you have a Muslim guest, only meat and fish when there's a vegetarian coming, or only cheese if there is a dairy allergic person attending, but I think it's ok to serve a variety as long as it's labelled and separated.

I would keep it simple and cater for your child. Let all the parents know your plans and ask them to bring appropriate food for their dc as it's getting complicated.
As a parent of child with en epi-pen I would never touch a takeaway or pizza delivery. I happily took safe food to parties for him.

+1 for lunchboxes - make sure they’ve all got ‘the same’ ie a sandwich, crisps, biscuits, fruit or whatever but you can tweak what sort of sandwich etc to ensure it’s suitable.

Then birthday cake to share afterwards?

If it’s just a tiny party of 6 I would just do an individual lunchbox for each of them then you don’t need to worry about making everything safe for everyone. Also ideal because they just take home what they don’t eat at the party and you have 0 waste

Another vote for a party box per child. You can make a few special ones for the dietary restricted kids.

As someone whose child has similar allergies, make this her party and put out a platter of what’s safe for her! She’ll spend her whole life avoiding food, restaurants and negotiating school dinners, cafes everything! It’s her party make food for her, quite frankly at 4 years old chances are the other kids won’t notice and any parents who have an issue can feed their own. The other child I’d cater for. Why would you risk a reaction at your own child’s party. Oh and just a suggestion have you thought about the fact once they’ve eaten they’ll be touching other things and potentially giving her a reaction that way? So much of her outside life will be dictated around food I really think her home and her birthday should be about her

Houmous is dead easy to make yourself and you can leave out the tahini. Nice tin of chickpeas, drain them but keep back some of the tin water. Whizz up with garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper to taste. You can leave it chunky or go completely smooth. Add in some of the reserved tin water to get it to the consistency you like.

IF its Halal that the child needs to comply with, you can buy halal jelly and make these:
www.taste.com.au/recipes/rainbow-oranges/eaf5be68-fd44-4880-8cc9-45ac0c8ef4a8
https://www.tesco.com/shop/en-GB/products/320991235?srsltid=AYCX9vKbZpUXFo0HS2B0uyh4Q60pQKmLixfiYZ-Xxd6X4W0DJp592CCS

https://www.thespruceeats.com/fairy-bread-4771689

Or lots of fruit cut up