Lack of hygiene from family member driving me crazy

[SailorMars7]

Got a family member staying in my house with her DH for a week and the DH doesn't flush the toilet after no 1, doesn't wash hands after going to the toilet and spits in the sink and doesn't rinse. Drives my up the wall. They offered to cook and all I can think is hands haven't been washed after going to the toilet and touching everything in my house. Am I overthinking?

I have the 'disgusting' video playing in my head now 🤮😂
Can you set that as your ring/incoming text alert sound and set it off when he exits to bathroom?
Even if you have OCD (cheeky mare) its still not ok to be gross in other people's homes.

That's gross, okay for their own home, but not outside of it

I'd take it back to him and not care if he felt embarrassed - he shouldn't do embarrassing things then

Spit in the sink - show it to him, show him where cleaning stuff is, get him to clean it up. 'I'm not your wife - I'm not cleaning up your spit, Bob, ha ha'.

Unflushed loo, just flush it if you find it.

Catching him leaving the bathroom - I didn't hear a flush, Bob, is there a problem with the handle? No? Could you flush it then please.

Non hand washers - on a couple of occasions this has happened to me, I go all out to embarrass them. Also, a lot of men oddly think that they didn't get wee on their hands, no need to wash them. Ah Bob, did you wash your hands okay, is that soap okay for you? You say didn't need to? Yes you do please. You are right that you probably didn't get any wee on them, but you were touching your cock and I don't want you touching things in the house with cocky hands, thank you. After all, I don't touch my fanny and then go round touching the doorknobs and stuff straight afterwards, ha ha. That wouldn't be very nice for other people, would it.' Getting that blunt has always shocked them rather and I think cured them of it in my home. Repeat offense 'ah there you go again Bob, please don't touch my sofa with cocky hands, please wash them.'

.

I’d ask the family member to have a word tbh. Can you ask your DH to flush, we don’t do the water saving thing here. Also he really should wash his hands as there’s a flu going round….

I'd be tempted to say: Bob, this isn't a doctors surgery, so we don't need the urine and sputum samples in the bathroom for our inspection, thanks. Flush and clean up after yourself, please.

OMG dont tell me you have toilets with stagnant piss in them... Revolting.

My uncle is in his 80s and still remembers to flush and wash. As does his wife who has dementia. Your friend needs to look at her standards, why is her bar in hell?

I wouldn't be policing whether guests washed their hands after they used the loo, but I'd be appalled if they were gobbing into my sink and leaving it there, and if I was being confronted with their stale piss every time I went to the loo.

It's got nothing to with being 'older' either. My dad didn't suddenly become gross and inconsiderate just because he was an old man ffs.

If you have a rule in your own home about not flushing your piss away to save water, that's up to you.

It is, however, not a guest's place to decide to implement that water saving rule in other people's houses.

'Don't make your hosts look at / smell your stale piss' is a fairly basic standard to meet when you're staying in someone else's house, I feel.

Also, there is no such thing as 'being a bit OCD'. People can't be OCD; they can only have OCD. And expecting people to stick to minimum conventions of personal hygiene isn't in the slightest bit like having OCD anyway.

Not flushing every time ag home is good if you can stomach it, but not in other people's homes. Hand washing is essential.
You need to say Look, maybe I have OCD but my house my rules. Please flush the loo every time, wash hands and wipe the basin . Otherwise this visit isn't going to work out well. Thanks.

I wash my hands but if someone told me to flush after a wee I’d say I’m not doing it for the water bill, I’m doing it for the environment.

In my house, no they're not. It smells and it's disgusting.

Call him out every single time. It's disgusting and disrespectful.