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I'm worried about this young man.

37 replies

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 16:20

But he's an adult and it's none of my business.

I know him through sport, he plays for a rival club but there's quite a lot of overlap, we're at the same competitions and social things.

He's mid 20s, but seems a lot younger in his manner. I don't know anything about any diagnosis, but I'd guess there's some autism and MLD. He's a nice lad, if socially awkward and often makes a beeline for me and DH because we (especially DH) make an effort with him and show some interest in his sporting achievements.

His own club is not one I'd want to be part of. It's run by a middle aged "ladies man" and has, IMO, a very laddish culture, but they're our rivals, so I would say that.

Some of the more influential people at that club "banter" with him about sex, his sexuality and not having a GF. They encourage him to say inappropriate things and share inappropriate images. It's supposedly all a bit of fun, but it doesn't seem that way to me. He has occasionally complained to DH that they "wind him up", but mostly laughs along with it.

If it was a child, I'd think it was bullying and exploitative, and it probably is in this situation, but he's an adult, albeit possibly vulnerable.

As I said, not really my business, would you 'do' anything?

OP posts:
Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 17:26

ItsPickleRick · 20/10/2026 17:25

There will be a safeguarding lead, please let them know what’s going on.

Edited because I cannot read properly and now see the post linked above wasn’t written by the OP!

Edited

The other post isn't me!!

OP posts:
ItsPickleRick · 20/10/2026 17:28

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 17:26

The other post isn't me!!

My apologies OP, I completely missed that sorry!

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 17:30

ItsPickleRick · 20/10/2026 17:28

My apologies OP, I completely missed that sorry!

No worries, but as you've pointed out, not the same story at all 😆

OP posts:
ItsPickleRick · 20/10/2026 17:31

I’ve edited my post, apologies again!

Back to the topic- there will be a safeguarding lead and I’d encourage you to let them know what’s going on. It’s not ok.

Jiddles · 20/10/2026 17:36

Could you chat to him and casually find out if he lives with his parents? If so, perhaps you could contact them to tell them the situation (anonymously if you want).

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 17:37

ItsPickleRick · 20/10/2026 17:31

I’ve edited my post, apologies again!

Back to the topic- there will be a safeguarding lead and I’d encourage you to let them know what’s going on. It’s not ok.

Yes, that seems to be the answer. I don't know what I was hoping for really. A magic wand to make it stop without me having to be a busy body? It would go down very badly if anyone knew I'd reported it, and possibly the young man concerned wouldn't appreciate it either.

OP posts:
Seziah · 20/10/2026 17:44

Can you speak to the leader of your own club for advice? They might know someone involved in running the other club or be able to get help from the governing body. Bullying a vulnerable person and sharing pictures of female members goes beyond laddish culture. It also sounds like you think the leader wouldn’t allow this man to leave that club?

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 17:46

Seziah · 20/10/2026 17:44

Can you speak to the leader of your own club for advice? They might know someone involved in running the other club or be able to get help from the governing body. Bullying a vulnerable person and sharing pictures of female members goes beyond laddish culture. It also sounds like you think the leader wouldn’t allow this man to leave that club?

No, I don't think they wouldn't "allow" it, but they wouldn't make the admin easy for him.

OP posts:
shimasu · 20/10/2026 17:59

call the police. If someone's got illicit photos of a person then this sort of behaviour needs closing down and quickly

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 18:04

shimasu · 20/10/2026 17:59

call the police. If someone's got illicit photos of a person then this sort of behaviour needs closing down and quickly

It's not an illicit photo. It was taken by an official photographer at a competition. They've zoomed in on certain parts of a woman's body.

OP posts:
shimasu · 20/10/2026 18:12

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 18:04

It's not an illicit photo. It was taken by an official photographer at a competition. They've zoomed in on certain parts of a woman's body.

Therefore making it illicit. The intention is there.

Redfluffyblanket · 20/10/2026 18:16

shimasu · 20/10/2026 18:12

Therefore making it illicit. The intention is there.

It's a crime to zoom in on a photo that's in the public domain? I didn't know that.

OP posts:
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