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Brother called crying and will not say why, what should I do?

30 replies

Catanica · 29/09/2026 21:25

My brother just called me crying and I’m completely lost at what to do.
I don’t think that I have ever seen or heard him cry since we were children. He’s seen and heard me cry lots but I never did and I feel really guilty and useless now.
He wouldn’t even tell me that he was upset about and said not tomorrow tell our mum but that is his usual approach.
I feel awful because he just moved and I don’t even know where he lives and I feel like a horrible sister who lets him down when he finally needed me.
Im not even sure what to do now apart from waiting for him to reply because he won’t pick up the phone. Again, this isn’t unusual but it’s the first time that I’m worried about him.
Not sure if someone can share some practical advice.
We are a strange family and not as close as most, but this is so unlike him.

OP posts:
Mapletree1985 · 01/10/2026 05:27

Catanica · 29/09/2026 21:44

Sorry trying to reply to everyone.

He lives alone and all of us would have to get on a plane to see him (both my mom and I, and also his best friend and his ex wife although she’d be the closest). All of them would go right away. He’s always moved around countries for work and because he is somewhat paranoid (not relevant for this now).

I think my mom pestered him for his address and she’d have it but I know why he didn’t want her to know about this because she goes absolutely nuts. I can ask her pretending but she’d know something was up if I urgently wanted this info at this hour right away.

Depending on where he lives, you could contact the local police, give them his phone number if you have of other contact details, and ask them to do a wellness/welfare check if they do that kind of thing.

BoldnessReborn · 01/10/2026 06:59

Oh no. My brother has paranoid schizophrenia and I recognise some of this -- just want to empathise really as it's hard to advise. Well done on being there for him (which you very much are).

Gardeniasgrow · 01/10/2026 10:44

Have you tried putting his phone number into a search engine . It might give you some clues at where he is working. You are in a difficult situation however he did call you and he can contact you which is a plus. I really hope you get in touch again soon.

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Catanica · 01/10/2026 20:17

He replied to me the day after, seemed embarrassed and insisted that I shouldn’t visit as he is fine and won’t be home. I will visit him the weekend after this though as otherwise I’ll tell our mom and that’s the last thing he wants.
I have a terrible fear of flying and be will regret this as soon as my panic sets in and he will have to deal with my anxiety. I don’t think that he will talk about what happened but maybe it will be enough to just have his neurotic little sister around for a few day.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice ans encouragement.

OP posts:
Greyblueeyes · 01/10/2026 21:05

I’m glad you got in touch with him. You’re a good sister, OP.

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