New bereavement leave entitlement after loss of chemical pregnancy or unsuccessful IVF transfer

[JibbIe]

This has just been announced and I couldn’t see a thread about it.

No proof of pregnancy needs to be provided and the unpaid leave can be taken daily or in weekly blocks within 56 weeks of the loss.

Both men and women can take the leave.

Due to start next April.

The feeling of going through the whole process of IVF, then having an embryo transfer, waiting 2 weeks and getting a negative pregnancy test is indescribable. I took sick days because I couldn’t work in that state.

I understand that it is traumatic, but that still doesn’t make it comparable to losing a partner or child. It is not the same thing, and if you can’t see that then I can only assume that you are in the fortunate position of never having experienced a significant loss that changes your entire life. I hope it remains that way for you.

My daughter lost her father when she was 19 and miscarried twins at 9 weeks. She was just as traumatised from both events. Everyone grieves in different ways and we have no right to say an IVF loss/unsuccessful attempt is worse than a miscarriage.

That said I would just encourage sick leave for miscarriage. I'm not sure why this special leave has been brought in. And the husband can be just as affected so they can take sick leave too.

You have no idea!

Why the fuck would anyone take this instead of sick leave?

Unpaid and having to let your employer know something very very personal? Forget it.

I’ve had a few chemicals and also a 10 week loss. I was told by doctors I’d struggle to conceive even with IVF. But you carry on judging me. I still think a late term miscarriage or child loss is significantly worse than early loss.

Well I think it’s brilliant, and a lot of other women seem to as well despite this thread. I would go even further and have it paid, like they now do in a lot of workplaces. But it’s a start.

I really like Burnham. He obviously understands what it’s like raising a family in this hellscape.

Agree with this. To my mind a miscarriage is when you lose the baby, after a pregnancy is confirmed. Not when it’s a pregnancy that just didn’t take. I never tested before a missed period. Sometimes when I hear celeb (for example) saying that they had 9 miscarriages… Really? Others may feel differently, fair enough.

Sounds like you’ve conceived a number of times and never had IVF so aren’t really in a position to decide how people feel after IVF. Yeah l can hold opinions and vocalize them. Luckily you aren’t the one determining the parameters of this leave

And the pregnancies didn’t stick.

I also wonder why people are getting their knickers in a twist about the leave. Yes, it’s a step in the right direction. But it is unpaid. By the way some people are going on it’s 6 months full pay or something and they are “missing” out on something. Failed IVF or a miscarriage isn’t something most people want

I was useless at work after my miscarriage. Far more upset and exhausted than I expected but it never crossed my mind to take leave, I wasn't sick and didn't think of myself as bereaved. I'm glad there's more discussion and policies like this. I should have taken time off in hindsight.

It’s a tough one. As l can imagine some people might want to get back to normal or try to distract themselves. I think it really depends on the individual and there is no right or wrong answer

Well, I’ve experienced both, multiple times. Get to your 5th cycle and I’d much rather have gone through the bereavement of losing one of my aged relatives than have another failure or another miscarriage. Even the loss, in late pregnancy of my son, just became another loss, another failure. Another occasion where I wasn’t pregnant. That’s ‘how’.

It doesn’t matter which is worse. All that matters is that people have the time they need to grieve. You don’t get to tell people if they should be grieving or not.

Sorry what?

Right, but it clearly states partners of women affected are also entitled to the same, so what’s your argument now? You literally are the definition of the awful employers you mention assuming it is only women who are entitled to this and therefore coming to the conclusion you did.

Given miscarriage and still birth are far more painful, and can have much more of a physical long term impact on your body than "normal" childbirth, why not? Not everyone has the same experience, but lots of women I know were the same as me, as in literally running about after "normal" birth, but in agony, bleeding and needing operations after losing a baby.
And I'm glad other family will be allowed time too.
Could people lie? Absolutely, but they could lie about anything, couldn't they?

A close friend unfortunately had a late term loss on their 1st attempt at IVF (following years of trying to conceive naturally) they then tried IVF/ICSI (I think it’s called) I want to say about 7 more times. The devastation each time it didn’t work for them was awful. They’d be no good in their role immediately after so why not make it mandatory for UNPAID leave?

Only time I see this as beneficial is if you are only allowed X episodes of sickness per year and your on this if the employer might consider it an episode and go for disaplinery which is disgusting but happens if the MC leave isn't allowed to be an episode.

I just think at least it’s there. People who disagree with it don’t have to use it. People who need it can use it

it’s like the whole menstrual leave thing, people were bleating on about periods just needing a hot water bottle etc but not realising some are in crippling pain on opiates and clinging on to their job by a thread because of sickness policies

It’s not compulsory. If some people don’t feel it warrants taking unpaid time off then they don’t have to. It’s there for people who need it, if you don’t need it, don’t take it. It’s really not that complicated.

But regular bereavement leave is also unpaid… so it’s completely up to the employer’s individual policy. Only now you can also be eligible for it due to a pregnancy loss. Not everybody is entitled to great sickness policies, and where you’d want to get SSP you’d also have to share the reason for sickness. I don’t think this policy is for just the recovery of it, but more to validate that it’s a loss. My employer for instance offers paid bereavement leave so for people working in those kind of companies would benefit.

I’m really pleased this has come in. I timed my embryo transfer so that I would be off for three weeks after (I’m a teacher so can’t choose holidays). If I couldn’t have timed it that well I’d have needed time off after it being unsuccessful - it was way harder than I’d expected tbh. As for not telling bosses - some of us have bosses who are understanding and have actually been through ivf themselves. Not all workplaces are horrible! They can’t authorise unpaid leave randomly tho - they need to be seen to be fair to other employees. This gives a really easy way for employers to grant the time needed.

The world has gone mad!