Help me not fuck up my mum’s birthday cake

[BrickProblems]

It’s my mum’s 80th birthday next week and I’ve said I’ll make a cake. Unfortunately I’ve only just remembered that while in my mind I’m Mary Berry, in reality I’m actually crap at making cakes. Can you help me with a really decent recipe/suggestion for a cake?

I’m thinking something light as it’ll still be boiling. Something lemony? With fresh fruit on top? Cream? Should I be drizzling something into the sponge like they do on Instagram? Should I buy a fancy shaped tin? I’m spiralling.

It needs to feed 6-10 people.

Thank you!

Do you have Waitrose near by?

Delia's lemon curd cake might be an option? Not too tricky as it is a simple all in one cake mix and you could buy the lemon curd.
https://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/meals-and-courses/afternoon-tea/iced-lemon-curd-layer-cake
It's delicious, light and summery. A favourite in our house.

Oh thank you that sounds delicious and mum loves lemon curd!

I could go to Waitrose at the weekend yeah?

Then buy a cake!! Nobody needs to be making cake in this weather. Pop some fresh raspberries on if you feel the need and bobs your uncle

Avoid anything with fresh cream if it's going to be out of the fridge any longer than 30 minutes.

Buy a pretty bundt tin and bake a basic sponge, drizzle with lemon icing and decorate with whatever you fancy. Candied peels and edible flowers look fancy if you really want to go mad. It will look spectacular even though it's extremely simple, purley because of the shape.

Buy the nicest supermarket cake you can, put it on a shiny platter and surround it with lots of beautiful berries, maybe dip some of the strawberries in chocolate, top the cake with edible flowers (or just a pretty bloom or two), buy some fancy candles and cake sparklers and present the cake to your mum with a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday To You.
I was a professional baker and would not want to bake a cake in this heat - could be disastrous!

Thanks all! Should have said I’ll be making it on Monday or Tuesday so hopefully won’t be a billion degrees by then.

I think it does have to be homemade unfortunately. Hoping I can bake it in the evening when it’s cooler and then decorate it next day.

Would cream cheese frosting or some kind of combo of that and cream work?

This is lovely and no real baking involved tbh. It is amazingly easy and pretty impressive. It is gluten-free, but doesn't have to be; you can just choose different biscuits for the base (Hobnobs are excellent). I also add toasted chopped hazelnuts to the base. For maximum impact, I cover the whole top of the cake with raspberries; it looks very impressive and tastes great. One tip: line the baking tin with greaseproof paper to make it much easier to take out once it has set.

https://thegfgblog.com/recipes/2020/3/1/gluten-free-chocolate-amp-raspberry-torte

As others have said I would try to avoid fresh cream etc as it would be a haven for bugs on a hot day. I am sure you would not want the party to be remembered for stomach bugs!
I second either the lemon curd cake or buy a plainish sponge cake then go mad with fresh flowers candied lemon and orange pieces etc. A good supermarket will have some good decorations. I would stick to a simple icing sugar and water icing basic but its safe then you can add flavour or colouring now is not the time for faffing with fondant or royal icing

I asked about Waitrose because it has Fiona Cairns cakes which are really really nice. I’m very fussy and usually bake myself but bought Fiona cairns cake recently for a celebration and was very impressed.

This is in the oven right now! Just wondering how much curd I should mix in with the cream - I took your advice to buy curd rather than make!