Sooo mad at myself

[onlyfoolsandgiraffes]

I’m actually so mad with myself.

this Actually might be a niche problem but maybe it’s not!
There is one specific family who we visit and are very close to. Almost every single time, I say the dumbest shit in front of them! Last night I made a very bad joke that fell flat on its face, it was at dhs expense and he was fuming and upset on the way home. i realised it was a very shitty joke to make and have sincerely apologised and he’s ok now.
but has anyone experienced this and how do I stop it ?! The uninhibited side of me is out on control
when I feel comfortable and accepted. Zero filter and it’s just not ok! Also no alchohol was involved! Just cups of tea. What’s wrong with me.

How do you filter yourself when you don't feel comfortable? Do that

The uninhibited side of me is out on control when I feel comfortable and accepted

This is odd. Is it really true? If you were truly accepted then your honest personality wouldn't need to be hidden. They would like you for the dumb shit that falls out of your mouth. You wouldn't need a filter. Very few people have many relationships where they can be their true self with another person. I don't have that relationship with any of my friends. I do with my DH.
Do you find social situations in general hard work? Is the contrast in how well you get on with this family compared to other friends really stark? Maybe it's relief you're feeling at being able to relax more around them than in normal social situations. And that relief has an uninhibiting effect on you.
But if you get on well and feel comfortable, when not just own the mistake immediately and be charmingly self deprecating about it and everyone moves on

Looool. I used to do this all the time. Sometimes things just come out wrong/rude even though that's not the intention. I think my friends are used to it now they probably suspect I'm ND

Your husband is supposed to be your nearest and dearest. Why do you think it acceptable to make a shit joke at his expense? Of course he is hurt and upset, you have demonstrated a severe lack of love and care for him in front of people who know you well. Awful behaviour. Just stop it. Imagine you are not comfortable in this company and behave accordingly.

I know. No I don’t find social situations hard at all! I just have zero filter around these people . I don’t need to apologise to them, the joke was on dh and I have apologised to him a lot

I often have terrible filter issues. I do have ADHD, it's not an excuse. I now don't drink alcohol because my filter evaporates all together. I also try and catch the words in my mouth when I want to say something and I'm not sure how it will be received.

If I am not sure, I don't say it! Sometimes it actually makes my physically uncomfortable to hold it in but it is much better for me to feel discomfort instead of insulting/ hurting someone when that is never my intension.

I’m never quite sure what’s going to come out of my mouth next either, it’s got me into terrible bother in the past. I’m much better now but still shock myself at times. It’s hard to explain!

My husband has said to me numerous times, don’t say that and I think I’ll fuck. I’ve already said it.