Does anyone have an autistic child who masks well?

[Kylerrs]

Just looking for advice. DS is 4.5 and pediatrician referred him for autism assessments which have about 2/2.5yr waiting list which is fine

The chain started as I spoke to preschool and we raised similar concerns
Social things - avoiding eye contact, playing alongside children while other children were playing together (this was when he was older as i know this is normal for toddlers) and generally how he interacts (or doesnt) with children

This was nursery for us we also had emotional understanding- weve had to teach him this really. However younger sister who's 2.5 can understand emotions without us explaining x is crying as they feel sad, a hug might make them feel better etc (loose made up example)

And routine / transitions. He struggles to transition between activities and needs to be told the routine for the day and week

Lots of severe meltdowns which sometimes we dont know the cause of until after its happened

Thats a few bits I dont want to go on too much as hes been seen by a few people who agree to refer him for assessment

But I'd say he masks in some situations i mean after pre school he is usually not very happy and releases a lot of emotions. When we went to see family a few days ago he shut down was silent and hiding as there was an unexpected guest there (MIL friends daughter who was approaching him wanting to play)

He is speaking fully verbal, he will interact with people and he is going to a state school not a school for children with special needs

But does anyone have a child who is diagnosed who may mask with others ?

Yea my son was diagnosed age 10. We had tried since he was 4 to get a diagnosis but no one believed us because he was fine at school. He is a master masker!
The school parents were very surprised when I mentioned his diagnosis. The school teachers only started noticing signs in year 5 after diagnosis and son felt free to drop his mask from time to time.

I’m not sure from your post where he is masking? You mention pre school but they have had similar concerns to you so that would suggest he isn’t masking there. The other thing you mention when you went to see family he ‘shut down’ - selective mutism isn't masking, it’s very clear autistic behaviour.

One of mine was such a skilled masker we didn’t even spot it until she was 6, and that was with 2 diagnosed siblings! That said, our home has already become rigid routine and structure by the time she was born so it’s likely this aided her masking

My son has just been diagnosed aged 8. I worried that nobody would see it as he masks well. He is very quiet in school and goes bonkers when he gets in.

The assessor said he met every criteria for autism.

Mine is diagnosed ASD/PDA and masks I'm some contacts. High masking ability is a very common PDA trait, though it can be seen in other types of autism as well.