I've been feeling a bit guilty about an acquaintance in my village who I do occasionally enjoy the company of - we get on well enough when we’re together, so it isn’t as simple as disliking her.
However, there are quite a few things about her that make me unable to be close with her.
She has asked me for favours which I feel take the mick a bit. For example, asking me to pick things up/get her shopping, and then taking ages to pay me back or forgetting. She has also asked me to look after her child so she can go and call out a man who had wronged her (I said no - also to protect her from looking stupid)
She also has a LOT of drama in her life. She repeatedly gets into relationships with men who are obviously unsuitable, it all ends disastrously, and then there is a huge amount of fallout around it. She wants to talk about it endlessly and asks for advice, but doesn't actually seem to take any of it on board, and then the same cycle happens again. This I can totally forgive but I find it really annoying - especially as she has children and it affects their lives.
I've found myself feeling quite cynical about it all, which I don't particularly like about myself.
The awkward thing is that multiple people asked my opinion of her. So far I've said something along the lines of err i'm not quite sure and can't get close to her, there is a lot of drama etc, but I feel guilty because obviously I've continued to spend small amounts of time with her, and I realise that could make me look quite two-faced.
At the same time, I wouldn't cut her off or stop being friendly because she isn't a bad person and I don't want to taint their opinion - it's best they make their own mind up. But I also don't want people to get siucked into the same trap I have in the past.
What would you say if someone asked you your honest opinion of her?
Would you be more direct and say that you find the friendship quite one-sided/draining, or would you just stay neutral and say that you don't really know her well enough to comment?
Village life can be tricky to navigate as everyone knows everyone and people talk! I'm also autistic so I do not know the right way to behave in the situation and appreciate some guidance.