Teacher struggling in holidays

[allymccoist]

I’m sure people will tell me to count my blessings but it’s week 4 of the holidays and I am feeling low.

we had a big holiday at Easter so haven’t gone away this summer, and I feel like that was a mistake. dH has not taken any time off so it’s just me and 2 dc who are 12 and 15. We live rurally so I have to drive them everywhere. The eldest has met up with friends a few times but the youngest guest hasn’t and I worry he is spending too much time on screens. The first week we did loads, then eldest ds made a flippant comment to his dad at the end of that week that we had done nothing, and I just felt so deflated as I had taken them shopping, to padel, on a boat trip, loads of stuff. I have taken them on a few more days out but everywhere is so expensive and I am trying to save money and just can’t go out everyday. I feel like I am struggling to motivate myself to do anything and just waste time scrolling. I am going into work on Thursday for results and it just feels like the holidays are over and I’ve barely done anything.

as well as this, I’ve seen a couple of friends but each time it’s been me who has initiated the contact, I feel sad that no one has text me and asked if I want a coffee or anything. I’ve had a couple of close for fashions fall by way wayside over the last two years and I’m really feeling quite lonely.

im not sure what I’m asking really, I just feel bad for not enjoying every minute of the holidays as I know I’m lucky to have this time.

I get this. My kids are a year younger than yours and are still happy to do things (that involve spending money mostly) but this morning, for example, I haven't seen either yet.

I also find that I long for the holidays, but then all the mental space usually taken up by school becomes filled with a whole host of new anxieties and obsessive worries. I appreciate this is my problem because of my anxiety in general, but I feel so angry at myself for not enjoying it more!

It's not too late to go away with the dcs even if your dh can't get time off work. You still have a couple of weeks holiday, that would be normal annual leave for someone not working in schools.

Thanks everyone. I have actually just booked a little trip for the final week and also a holiday for October half term! I’ve realised that getting away is actually important to me.