Has anyone successfully moved somewhere new and started again solo in their 50s?

[SoggySaggySocks]

Has anyone just started again? If so how?

I'm in my early 50s. I run my own business from home which I could do pretty much anywhere. DC are adults and no longer married. I'm tempted to move to somewhere lovely that I've always wanted to move to (various places in mind) and just starting again.

The thing is how to make friends at my age? People are still working, people still have kids and teenagers around so how would I meet people. Has anyone done this successfully?

I’d agree with this. There’s all kinds of everyone in London and any activity you can imagine so if you put yourself out there you’ll hopefully find your people. Facebook groups seem good too, I know a few who’ve got new friends from that.

No, it's easier in london as no-one considers you an outsider. Very easy to make friends if you put yourself out there and join lots of things. People are very open to new people

I did it at 70yrs moved from south England to Scotland I have a social life now. My dh died 13 yrs ago so after retiring I didn't go out nowhere to go as a solo.

Well done SnappyOP. I'm starting over again at 67, not moving as far as you though, but going to a different area.

I moved country at about 45, repatriated 8 years later, hung about for a couple of years missing the country I'd moved to, and moved back at 56, enrolled in graduate school, got a masters. I do have a community of friends in both countries (and others), and have made more here. If you are in your 50s now, on an actuarial basis, you are expected to live until you're 95. So if you are adventurous and can make friends, why not?

I would love to move countries but my options are limited by finances and an ability to get a work permit.

I left a job in my 40s to go to uni and stayed in the city after my degrees because I was immediately offered work. Was offered a job on the day I tool my doctoral viva. Newer returned to the city of my birth. I am past retirement age now but have two self employed side hustles which keep me pretty busy so I am not bothered about fitting into a community. Always happy with my own company.

hi I'm in exactly the same boat and I'm 65 moving to a brand new area where I won't know anyone! the only saving grace is I am moving in with my son for a few months until I can find somewhere to rent on my own. I work from home so potentially I won't even get the chance to go out and meet people so I'm thinking of maybe dropping my days down to four days a week and one day a week I'm going to go out and go to as many clubs and new things as I possibly can maybe that's the way forward for you too?

My parents did it in their early 60's. Joined U3A. Got a whole community and loads of friends.

Following

I moved from a town to the country at 51.
I was divorced with no dependent children and had a professional job I could do from home.
It was when I was there I joined the local church and met my second husband, which was something I never expected to happen to me !
Win/win !

Do it! You are very young still, or rather you could have a very long time left to live. Best do it in a beautiful place.
Ive become friends with a woman in her 50s who did what you are considering. She has built a lovely new group of friends (if I say so mysel) via our local dog park and a sea swimming group.

I'm early 60s and planning to do this as soon as youngest moves out. I'm not a hugely sociable person but a few friends would be nice. I'm thinking a pleasant town, maybe Yorkshire. Big enough to have doctors and shops and public transport. Small enough to feel friendly and safe. (I know nowhere is completely safe, but I'm from Croydon so am easy to please.)

I'm not Christian and don't want a dog, so am hoping that voluntary work, hobbies and a sunny disposition might do the trick.

I moved to a new area after COVID. Threw myself into the Community and now have a great network.
Residents Association, Local Campaigns, Litter Picking, Sea Swimming Group, look on Facebook for a book group / hobby groups, knitting group, whatever.

You might find it easier to meet and socialise with 60 yos - but many are lively, active, etc - I am 60 something but new community friends (pub, BBQs, theatre trips) range from 40s to 70s. Some working, some not.

I’m about to do exactly that, I’m 57. I’m moving out of London - interesting to hear people suggesting moving here. It might just be that the area I am in doesn’t fit, I don’t feel like part of any of the communities in my area. And widening your net and meeting people all over London if fine, but can be a bit fleeting.

So my aim is to move to a small city / large town that has an actual centre, so there is a chance of bumping into the same people, and they are settled and not likely to move on in a few years (which happens so much in London). I will do U3A, art classes, Bumble friend app, maybe some volunteering, walking group. Not sporty or religious unfortunately, as those always seem easy ‘ins’. Haven’t ruled out a different area of London (I’m East, like the idea of SW).

Yes but I had children in primary school (I had them in my 40s). Widowed at 47, two years later I decided to move to a new area to start afresh. I did meet a few people outside of school but most I met through the school - we had a class coffee morning every week, and the older one’s class I became firm friends with. I also volunteered at the school and made another friend.
A friend of mine made new friends when she joined a wild swimming club.

I've done it several time; Nottingham to London aged 24, London to Dublin aged 32, Dublin to Portugal aged 44 and now eyeing a move to Romania by which time I'll be 63!

I moved from Manchester to London years ago because the money was infinitely better. I found it slightly frightening to start with but it changed my life beyond belief. In fact it led to me working in over 5O countries eventually.
The best advice I ever read about careers was from General de Gaulle who said “Aim for the top. It is less crowded”.

I think joining hobby and sport/ activity groups is the answer. Community groups, U3A, WI etc etc. I know some people who aren't even all that keen on the hobby but go along because it gets them out and socialising.
Good luck with your change of direction.

I did at at 45 with two children in tow and working full time. Very limited time to socialise and it takes time.

For me I met someone lovely and married him and we are future proofing our lives here I’m now heading towards 54 and he is 56. He is retired I will be in 2 years. We are future proofing everything. It took me long time to find a church I love which is easy and relaxed enough for me. I’m in 2 book groups. We have an allotment. We are losing weight and getting fit. We want to get into pickleball or something. We are on a quiz team. We want to figure proof in case something happens to one of us for the other.

Moving to the right area crucial we have a lovely house and one neighbour who is difficult but the rest are brilliant.

Ps I intend to do another degree when I retire and meet people that way

I did but in my 40’s and left London for the south coast . No regrets . As big as London is it’s a very isolating place to live . I didn’t even know my neighbours other than the obligatory’ morning ‘ as we passed on the path . I have a really good social life now and after a complete reset am now living a calm peaceful life . The only downside is in hindsight I wish I’d moved to a more direct train route to Heathrow and Gatwick as I do a lot of travelling . I also want to move from where I am to a better area .

Yes, and the answer as said above is to join things - U3A, WI, choir, sports club, church if you’re that way inclined (I’m not). Volunteer, but make sure it’s something you want to do and that you’ll get to meet people - eg litter picking or conservation you will get to chat to others, but volunteering as a room steward in a stately home, you may find you’re actually on your own a lot.

Be prepared for the fact that it takes time, it may be a couple of years before you reach the stage of being invited to people’s homes or for activities outside the thing you’ve joined.

Five years since moving and I rarely go into town without seeing someone I recognise. I haven’t made any close friends but that’s mainly because I already have a very close circle of good friends whom I see every week. I’m close enough (an hour away) to drive back to my former place and still take part in an activity there.

I moved for a better quality of life - cultural activities, opportunities, lots of walking - and have no regrets, it’s been great.

Having moved very many times over the past 40 plus years. I would offer this advice.

Going back to somewhere you have could be completely different to what you think might take place in reality unless you have family or a network of friends.

Relocating to a holiday destination and living there are two entirely different aspects. Especially if when lived there and you find out they do like newcomers, Trust me we had this situation. Idyllic location as we thought but locals shun you as they perceive the newcomers make property unaffordable for them and their children, so they say. This was expressed at Parish council meetings in our ex village.

We moved away nearly 8 years ago and the strange thing that occurred according to Rightmove is that in a very small community of 600 spread around the number of people that moved after we left was quite astounding and of these people house have changed again. What does that tell you about the "locals"?

Good luck on your choice OP.

A friend has just done this post separation.

my takeaway from her comments was she moved away to enable another friend to co-share her property to assist with mortgage payments and is 2 hours away from our district and a further 3-5 hours away from her DS and family.

so far she seems to be enjoying it and has got into painting and decorating her new property.

she expanded her social circle well before leaving but I don’t know how many of those new people will travel to see her.

She told me she had been planning on the separation for many months prior to making it happen so for her the key was putting the prep work in and researching her new area before she ended her marriage.