Do you ever wonder what part of your body will fail as you get older?

[PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ]

In my early 40s and the saying about what you neglect in your 20s comes to bite you on the butt in your 40s is starting to come true. I'm overweight and can't get up off the floor like I could. My DH has a whole plethora of health problems but I think it'll be his joints that get him.

I sometimes wonder if my mind, my hearing or my body will affect me the most in my 60/70/80s. Anyone else?

I can camp my relatives and friends/neighbours into two camps.

1. Those that stayed youthful in their outlook and activity. Trying new things, meeting new people, being physically active

1. Those that sit at home and ranting at the world and barely moving.

The physically and mental deterioration is markably different and shocking.

My Granny needed a knee replacement eventually. My legs are identical to how her legs looked. Fat knees and chunky. I am mindful of trying to keep mobile to stop the same thing happening to me.

Strokes are the biggest killer in my family. A lot of them were fond of a drink, smoking and using copious amounts of salt in food. I'm trying to be not so heavy handed with these!

I think to some extent whats coming for you is coming for you, so not a lot to be gained by worrying about it. Although do your best to eat well, exercise, maintain positive relationships.
Sit on the floor for a bit everyday, just so you can get up. I’m 50 and haven’t really had cause to sit on the floor since my 20 something kids were little - it shocking it was such an effort to get up, but a few months of putting my socks on sat on the floor and its no effort at all.

I did a lot of sport when younger, and hips and knees grumble a bit now. HRT has stopped the joint pain though.

My greatest fear is dementia, so I’d hope a short sharp illness finishes me off - I’ve no desire to end my days sat in a nursing home! The women in my family are generally lucky to make it to 60 so who knows!

I do wonder how I will die, will I keel over and be left on the floor for hours/days until someone finds me. Will my cats indulge in making a tasty snack out of me etc! Or, will I be like my reclusive loner neighbour and not be found until the smell is noticed (I thought it was the xmas stilton to start with😳).

I'm terrified of dementia, I'm at the age where lifestyle is hugely important with things in my control to try and stop vascular dementia ever developing but it's hard to keep weight off in your mid 40's!

I just hope it’ll be my heart, and I’ll go out with a (silent) bang.

Unlikely, though, given that my DM went on to 97 with dementia, and during an op for a broken hip when she was 90 or 91, the anaesthetist apparently said, ‘Boy, this is one tough old bird!’

Well I kind of know - I was born with a hip defect that I was told might require hip replacement in my 40s, but I'm 48 and it's not got painful yet, so I think I'll get through my 40s without that. Though I'm beginning to expect the knee of that leg might get problematic first - it's definitely 'twinge-y' and I think has had to do a lot of compensating for hip issues.

So I'm expecting I'll have mobility issues relatively early.

My aunt, grandmother and probably great grandmother all died of breast cancer, but that was on my father's side - I've had a genetic test and I don't have the BRCA gene that causes high risk of breast cancer, which I think they must have had. It was less likely as it was from my father's side, but worth testing as Ashkenazi Jewish women generally have a high risk of it and my sister and I took the opportunity to test when it was being offered.

We can't foresee but speaking in relation to mother and MIL, when it comes frailty can be swift. Both 90, both fit and active. OK until 87/8. Mum has Parkinsons and the bginnings of vascular dementia (and other things), MIL bowel problems, high BP and something neuro going on but won't engage with medical care.

My grandparents: one it was alzheimers, the other cancer but died at 86 and 89 respectively.

I'm 50 and thinking a lot about general frailty at the moment- have really noticed I'm less strong than I used to be (think this is partly connected to having lost some weight). Need to start doing weights more often.

Also think my hearing might be an issue as I have auditory processing issues which any hearing loss will exacerbate, but at least hearing aids exist and I get checked regularly.

I’m nearly 60. The people around me that seem to be floundering were all people who exercised like mad. Now they need hip replacements and are nursing long term injuries and arthritis.
I can still squat quite well so that’s a good sign. I walk as much as I can. I’m convinced though it will be my lungs. I’ve never smoked but they are a weak spot when I get ill.

See a pelvic floor physio, honestly was a game changer to me (heavy urine leakage etc) didn't think it could improve so completely, but I was wrong and delighted.

Also HRT, good diet as much as possible & plenty of exercise of a good range - weights, cardio, functional, swimming, pilates etc.

I feel fitter in my mid 50s than I have ever felt!

I’m 55 and feel better now and more confident in my ability to function than I did a decade ago but it takes a lot of work. Pelvic floor exercises every day, exercise a lot, no alcohol or sugar and plenty of cognitively challenging work . It’s hard but I now can see if I try and be as fit and strong as possible but it takes a lot of work

couldn't agree more! In my mother’s native tongue they have a saying which translates as “they sat down “ to describe how they aged … I think about that a lot .. every day —

Having a bad fall as you age can be a real life changer. It did for my dad, fit and pretty active until at 88 he fell badly, didn't break anything but ended up in hospital where they found out two quite serious issues with his health, blood where he had to have blood transfusions every three weeks and bowel cancer which was treated very successfully with surgery.

He actually carried on relatively ok until he died at 94 but the fall definitely affected his memory a little and also his mobility which did deteriorate as he got older and he was in residential care for two years before he died.

I fell in the garden two weeks ago, just lost my balance trying to avoid treading on some plants, fortunately didn't break anything but it has made me extremely careful about messing around in the garden and watching where I put my feet. 😱

Well I am the ripe old age of 36 and have just discovered my thyroid has basically packed up 😳 you dont have to be old! And I couldn't have prevented it at all.

@PeriPeriMayo sorry about your thyroid. Mine went bonkers when I was 30, had 7/8 of it out and equivalised it to having packed up. I have taken levothyroxine for 36 years and all has been well.

The British Thyroid Foundation is supportive and informative.

Good luck.

I'm early 50's and since I was 50 my right knee has been really bad and does affect my mobility. Going down stairs is really painful.

This is right. A regular regime of stretching, exercise eg swimming and weight training. Watching what you eat and drink. Some things you can't control eg hearing and eyesight issues but something's you can aid yourself with. Knees and hips can be replaced. It's not what you might want but avoiding a painful old age is a good thing

We all know now (or most of us do) that strength training is important to aid our bones as we get older. But I've started doing Qi Gong in the mornings, if you've seen older Chinese people doing those rotation exercises in the park you'll know what I mean, and they're really are on to something. Keeps you nimble, keeps your limbs loose, stops that old age stiffness.

I (mid-40s) look at the difference between my own parents, and DH’s who are the same age, but seem a generation older - and it is literally down to how active they are (at least, it appears to be.) My parents have dogs, horses, cows; their idea of a holiday is cycling around Brittany, skiing, or surfing. At the same time, despite living some distance from London, they regularly go there for exhibitions, the theatre etc. Basically, they’ve never stopped. And when something does go wrong, they go immediately to the physio, and then they actually do the exercises they are told to. My PIL, in contrast, barely leave their house, and if they do it’s for a very very gentle and slow walk. (Although that’s not quite true, my MIL leaves the house for spells in hospital.) And so I do my best to be as active as I can, with a pretty sedentary job. I bicycle or walk everywhere I can, swim in the sea year round, skip (with a rope) for 15 minutes every other day, go for runs, etc. I ought to start doing Pilates. But I find it really dull. But nonetheless, I should do it.

I’m early 50s. I was very fit in my 20s even competing in the common wealth games and was still into sport at 35. I had child 1 and all was ok except I had an issue with my heart from the birth and pregnant illness. Child 2 a few years later I was very ill. I had bad PND with both of them. And to my horror discovered I had developed an autoimmune disease which affects every aspects of my life. I’m 4 stone overweight, my knees hurt, my heart will need a valve replacement within 10 years, I have arthritis and pain in my hands.
This year DH and I decided to get fit. It’s slow progress but we are doing just diet and exercise swimming, gentle walking etc and it might take two years or more to get there but I hope to lose the weight slowly in time for 55 ish and I’m even starting a bit of weight training.

I developed coronary artery disease at 32, even though I was fit and thought to be healthy, nothing else has surprised me since, type 2 diabetes, shellfish allergy, polymyalgia, I just add it to the list and hope the other bits keep going😅

I anticipate getting stomach cancer in my 60s and dying from it as my mum and her brother and their mother did.

But just in case that doesn’t happen, I eat well, exercise loads and have great muscle mass because if I’m lucky enough to get old, I don’t want diabetes or osteoporosis.

Pelvic health physios are incredibly good. There just aren’t that many of them in the NHS as typically it is a Cinderella service.

Get it checked out by a physio.

Try or increase HRT.

@PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ My mother was very healthy; never smoked, exercised, intelligent, cooked from scratch, occasional glass of wine but that's it. She died at 59 from a dementia related illness.
My father is 82; heavy smoker, eats pretty crappy food, has always worked night shifts his whole life...
I exercise and eat pretty healthily but I'm not going to deny myself some pleasures because there is no guarantee to anything.