Would you do this, wedding related - garden or not!

[Besidemyselfwithworry]

I’ll keep this brief!
Partner and I have been together 20 years in 2028, and we are celebrating by getting married.
We’ve been to look round some different venues and we want a relaxed/ casual affair - nothing to formal but we want it to be nice
We are thinking of about 50-60 guests and we aren’t bothered for a “night do” as such and we have thought of doing like a bbq style lunch and garden games type of thing.

Costs have varied from venue to venue but last night my friend said “why don’t you just spend the money having your garden landscaped and have people at home with some caterers”

we have a very big garden so could do this and have space for posh portaloos etc… we could have a marque if it rained

has anyone done this?

pro’s and con’s and ideas welcome please 🙏

If you have a large garden, surely landscaping will be expensive, although you’ll always have it, so that’s a plus. We had someone create a basic structure for us, including some raised beds and different levels, with a postbox water thing, flowing into a shallow trough with plants.

So far, it’s about 10K and there is always something to add/ remove every season.

I can’t give you any advice or info but it sounds a wonderful plan

My neighbour's DC got married abroad but they had a huge wedding party at home as well for wider friend group and those that couldn't go abroad. They easily had 60 people attend and had a very large marquee erected in the garden and caterers to do the food. By all means it was a great success.

Depends how big your garden is and whether it is truly big enough for the amount of guests and set up you want. Also depends on logistics and how close your neighbours are.

I say this because my Neighbours had their wedding reception at home. Despite having a large garde, they had to put the portaloos on the front driveway. The loos weren’t collected until the Monday afternoon (wedding was a Saturday) and they stunk, it was grim.
We also had guests vomiting and pissing on our driveway as once the alcohol kicks in everyone needs the loo and they just can’t cope with the demand.

if you live rurally, go do it. Built up area, your neighbours will be talking about you for years,

A well known journalist in this parish had her dc’s wedding at her house and wrote an article about it later

Rule no 1 - you can never have enough toilet paper. Rule no 4 - see rule no 1. I hate to imagine what went wrong that day. However, they did all have a lovely day.

@Besidemyselfwithworry stop worrying. I think your plans sound great.

Look realistically at what you have to offer. Would your kitchen suit a caterer? What is the alternative? Will you need a bar person and will they need cold space? Look at your parking for 30 cars.

We had a lamb on a spit once and, as we have a granny flat with double oven, sink, cooktop, fridge and toilet they probably thought they were in heaven. They could do what they needed to do without my guests under their feet. Food hygiene is not to be trifled with so caterers need their space.

Don’t try and self cater. Get a planner. Include the cleanup. Enjoy just being the bride on the day and your darling DP just enjoy being the groom.

I've been to loads of wedding receptions at home - marquees in the garden etc. Absolutely lovely and my preferred type of party. However - this would depend on how big your space is, what happens if it rains and how antisocial your guest behaviour is likely to be!

Some of the best weddings I've been to have been at people's homes. A lot more relaxed.

We had FIL’s funeral wake at our house. Different occasion but similar numbers.

things to think of - where will the toilets go and how will people access them? Are you happy to have people milling around your entire house?

The other big one is transport - do you have space for 50/60 guests to park near your house? If people are going to be coming by taxi/uber is there the capacity locally for the end of your night?
We hired the school car park at the end of our road.

Caterers and marquee sounds gorgeous, we've been to a couple of lovely garden receptions with this set up.

Cost up the caterer, marquee, loos, seating/crockery hire etc. You may find it doesn't save enough to give you a healthy garden landscaping budget. But it would make for a lovely personalised wedding if you don't mind the extra hassle. Do it because it's what you want, not for a landscaping budget.

Lovely idea op!

Yes primary school is on the same road and their playground we can hire for parking they charge £100 for the PTa

I guess the question is, can you afford it and do you want the stress?

One of the things about doing it yourself is that you have to pay for everything. So no cash bar, you have to buy and pay for all the drinks yourself. At a wedding, I’d expect people to have at least 3-4 drinks (some more, some mostly soft drinks). 50-60 people is not a small wedding. You’re looking at a bottle and a half of wine each at a minimum. That’s going to be £600 at least on alcohol and probably more. You will need to have someone you can manage the bar area for you as 60 people all trying to pour their own drinks and dig around looking for extra will be chaos.

Then it’s things like glass hire and chair hire and catering equipment. You will probably need to have a catering company who can do the set up, refresh catering trays as they’re emptied and clear away. It’s a lot more involved than it sounds at first. I think the costs can add up quickly once you add in all the little things like table settings and cutlery and the marquee and chairs/tables, food, a few staff being paid hourly, drinks, cake. Also do not underestimate the ability of 60 people to totally trample a garden. I’d probably do it up after with any leftover money, not before!

And can you do with the stress? Organising a big event is an awful lot of work. Weddings are stressful enough even when you aren’t doing all the set up and clean up yourself. The nice thing about having a venue is that when I all goes to shit in the morning of and something doesn’t get delivered, there is someone whose job it is to sort that out. When you do it yourself, that someone is you! I would look into really how much, if anything, it would save you and if that’s really worth the stress of doing it DIY. I had a 60 person wedding, at a venue, with an in house wedding planner. Even still you could not pay me to do it again! 😂 It was exhausting and a lot of work.

We did this, but only for about 30 people. Got everybody to bring their garden furniture, buffet food with help from M&S and Aldi for prosecco. Hired glasses from Waitrose. Brought cheap packs of crockery from Wilko. We had a blast, everybody said it was the best reception they'd attended.

Then it’s things like glass hire

Order the wine from a wine merchant and they'll give you free glass hire, you only pay for breakages.

I've been to several and hosted my own. All were great. If you're an organised person it really isn't that hard.

Exactly the same cost as here 😂

The only other tip I would give is to use the same catering/event company to do as much as possible so that you’re not needing to do any co-ordinating.

Our caterers sorted the hired tables, chairs, linens, crockery, cutlery, all the food, the waiting staff, the bar and its staff, and the cleaners. We also had someone through them who directed people where to park.
The marquee company did the marquee, the floor coverings (our hallway was the main thoroughfare so we covered the carpet) and the toilets.
The marquee company were also a recommended supplier by the caterers so they basically organised everything between them. Made life much easier!

The other thing is the actual wedding. Are you in a part of the UK where you can easily actually marry in your garden or will you be having the actual wedding elsewhere?

Nobody would be in the main house we have a big conservatory on the back but we can lock off the rest of the house they can walk down the side to the garden.

Good tip about using the same suppliers x

Sounds great, why not!!

We had 44 people at our silver wedding anniversary party at home. We had caterers do a buffet which was laid out on the dining table and sidboard in our kitchen-diner. We have lots of french doors from house to garden so easy to move between the two, we have a single downstairs bathroom which was sufficient for that number of people, we had spent the previous two years working on the garden (basic structure was OK but had been neglected) and improving the seating options outside. We had a friend who had a small marquee which we borrowed in case of rain but in the end the forecast was good so we didn't bother with it. For music we put together a Spotify playlist. We did warn all the neighbours it was happening. We refused to have any guest to stay in the house to minimise the work for us. Guests were either local or stayed in hotels or airbnbs we recommended that were within walking distance. Plenty parking on our street anyway.

For a full wedding I'd have a decent marquee with tables and a band but having our anniversary party at home was wonderful and cost us far less than an equally nice outside venue would have been. I've been at weddings in gardens before and they have all been lovely.

We had our wedding reception in a relative's garden, and a friend very kindly organised a barbecue. Ever since, people have been telling us it was the nicest wedding they've ever been to. We were very lucky with the weather though.

I think it is a lovely idea, but you will need to plan for what happens if it pours with rain, and also whether there will be enough parking near the house.

I cater twice a year at home for approximately 30 - 40 people (including children) for a family party and do it all myself and I have a small house and garden. I think that with caterers and help to serve/clear up afterwards it is perfectly doable.
A friend had her reception in her parents garden and it was really lovely, far more relaxed than most weddings I have been to. We were really lucky with the weather but if you are able to hire marquees/gazebos then that should work.

it would be a daytime family affair nobody would be vomiting or pissing anywhere - our friends and family aren’t like that!

I went to a wedding in someone’s garden - it was lovely, but, while they had a big marquee etc. there was no covered walkway to the portaloos and it chucked it down with rain all day, and that was a bit of a nightmare.

We did this for our wedding at my parents as they’ve got pony paddocks at their house so loads of space. It wasn’t any cheaper, but in my opinion, was a much better do than a venue as we could do exactly what we wanted. We used one paddock for parking then another for marquee. Had nice loo’s, a band, marquee, outside caterers