Stupid husbands

[ToadRage]

What stupud things has your husband said or done. I'll start:

Early one morning while husband is getting ready for work:

Him: Omg, I can't find any of my shirts, wife, where are my shirts?

Me: Have you looked in the wardrobe?

Him: No, why would they be in there?

Me, Because that is where shirts live.

On another occasion:

Him: Isn't it amazing how clean boxers just appear folded up in my drawer, like magic!

He sounds like a moron.

I don’t have a stupid husband. I have an adult, capable of looking after himself husband.

He is actually quite intelligent just these things he doesn't get cos I always do the laundry.

Isn't it amazing how clean boxers just appear folded up in my drawer, like magic!

You have to admit that this makes him sound not very intelligent....
Obviously he is taking the piss out of you..

Can I introduce you to the concept of Decorative Eyes?

It was in a recent Substack by a menopausal woman called Shelley. She noticed her husband and son both have beautiful blue eyes, gorgeous colours, can look at you with love and affection.

What they can't do is see anything.

"Where are the scissors? - In the drawer. "No they aren't, I've looked there. -Yes, they definitely are, look again. "Nope, just checked, they aren't in the drawer so where else could they be..."

Stomp over, open drawer, grab scissors and show them to husband/son who explains "but they weren't there when I looked!"

Of course not, they were skillfully camouflaged by the frigging chopstick lying across them. Or they'd closed their little scissory eyes like a toddler ensuring you can't see her.

Decorating eyes. Attractive enough but non-fucking-funtional.

That's the rinse and repeat stupid my DP does, and has been doing for his entire life as far as I can work out. Even DD says "are you sure it isn't hiding under a chopstick, Dad?"

Good name for a female punk band.

I would genuinely end my relationship if my DH said that.

How dare he!

If that isn’t sarcasm, I’d worry!

Where has he found his shirts every other day since he’s been an adult?

I get you're trying to do a lighthearted thread but its not. I find it sad not funny. How can you be attracted to this man?
We all need to expect more from men.
My children do their own laundry and put their clothes away. My youngest is 4 he still puts his clothes away.
My husband is a fully functioning adult. I could drop dead tomorrow and there isn't a single thing that would change in the running of our household.

Sorry, he doesn’t understand that someone in the household must be washing, drying and putting clothes away? He isn’t doing it so someone must be - obviously you. But he hasn’t figured that out?

He sound thick. Not changing eccentric or silly. But deeply thick. How unattractive.

(I’m assuming he isn’t being sarcastic or making fun of you, as that wouldn’t be a funny lighthearted thread. That was be a shitty way to treat the woman doing all the bloody work in his life).

For all things said about boarding school it does teach certain life skills. Like keeping your clothes hung up and your space tidy for example.
My DH was far neater and tidier than me, and knew how to do laundry, iron, cook and clean up after!

I wonder if OP was too embarrassed/afraid to start a normal thread and so has started a light hearted one.

I don’t believe anyone would see this behaviour as funny or someone just being stupid.

He’s belittling her, being misogynistic and a liar.

It's a male trait when the buggers are forced to do something e.g.

Me: Could you get me the scissors/item needed please
Him: I can't find them in the drawer/place where they live
Me: (after stomping over to location, having got off ladder, put down child or whatever) What are those?
Him: Oh, I didn't see them
Me: they're right there, under your nose 🙄

Selective blindness and generally not confined to just husbands

@MightyGoldBear your 4 year old does their own laundry? Seriously hope that’s an exaggeration on your part as that is verging on child exploitation.

I do find that funny op!

As others have said it is also part of the patriarchy.

But we can laugh as well because individually they are nice people caught in a system that has meant they have hilarious (and systemically concerning) flaws.

I read an article that said if you married someone below your intellect, then they're not actually below your intellect, because if yours was higher you would have made an informed decision to avoid the issue of imbalance.

I don't know how true that is but my husband isn't stupid.

I would find it funny if a 4 year old said it.

You can’t honestly believe that a grown, intelligent adult believes in magic??

I'm absolutely killing myself laughing here!

He sounds hilariously funny!

I've never married but if I did, I'd want a husband with your hubby's brilliant humour!

He happily puts his washing in the basket/drum and then enjoys pressing the button, knows where his items go back in the wardrobe all this is with either me or his dad about. I'd hardly say we are exploiting him. Just life skills.
If at 4 years old he can understand the steps to clean clothes and putting them back where they belong. A grown man absolutely can.